Ned's Declassified SSG: High School Years
by Jenny70529
Summary: After starting high school, Ned and Moze try to find their niche. Will their relationship be able to withstand high school drama? In progress, please R&R, NedMoze.
1. First Day Jitters

_Author's Notes: Okay, after watching countless hours of Ned's this past week, I was struck with the inspiration to write a fic. Be gentle, it's my first Ned's Declassified fic, and the first high school fic I've written in about 7 years. I love reviews, they make me write faster. I have the next chapter almost done, if there's interest_

_Jenny_

**Ned's Declassified SSG: High School**

**Chapter One: First Day Jitters**

"Open, come on, open!" Ned mumbled to his locker, both sleepiness and irritation audible in his voice, "Oh this is ridiculous…"

It was 7:05 am, on his first day of high school. He should be excited, pumped, thrilled, and ready to take on the challenge that is high school. Instead, he was still half asleep and beginning to panic slightly as he glanced at the clock. The bell would be ringing in less than five minutes, and he still had no idea where his first class was located. And if he didn't open his locker soon, he'd have to run across campus with a bag full of junk he didn't need yet. To make things worse, Cookie's locker was in a different building, Moze wasn't on the bus and he hadn't see her yet, and he felt like the shortest person in the entire school.

"Oh finally, someone I recognize!" Ned turned, finding himself face to face with Lisa, who began to twirl the lock on the locker next to his, "I knew it would be bigger than middle school, but I never expected this!"

"Tell me about it." Ned sighed, "I already feel like I don't belong."

"I'm sure you'll make yourself at home right away," Lisa responded with a friendly smile, "I've heard it's always bumpy the first few days." She placed her books into her locker and slammed the door shut, tilting her head to the side to examine Ned, "You look exhausted."

"I stayed up until almost 3 this morning talking on the phone to Moze." Ned admitted with a slight blush, "I guess we lost track of time…once you get in the habit of doing something for almost 3 months, it's hard to get back in the swing of things."

He hit the side of his fist against his locker, which popped open in protest, "At least I finally got this darn thing to work."

The bell rang, and Lisa glanced down at her schedule, "Off to homeroom, assuming I can find it…I'll talk to you later, Ned."

Almost instantly the hallway came alive with people pushing their way to their classrooms. Ned leaned with his back against his locker, glancing down at the schedule he held in his hands. There was no way he'd be able to find the building he was supposed to be in during the five minute period they had to traverse across campus. Shaking his head, he fell into step with the stream of hallway traffic making their way towards the staircase. Lisa was right, it would take a few days to get adjusted to things, but he'd feel like he belonged in no time…at least, he hoped so.

By the time he found Hawthorne Hall, the tardy bell had rung and the hallways had turned into a ghost town. As he slipped into the classroom, he could almost feel his cheeks turning red with embarrassment as the scary looking teacher gave him the evil eye. Oh God, it was a female Sweeney. At least it was only a homeroom, right?

He slid into an empty desk, taking out a blank composition book and writing on the top of the first page, "H.S. tip #1 Try to find a map of your high school campus _before_ your first day."

As his homeroom teacher began to ramble on about mandatory state examinations and the importance of a successful high school career, Ned's thoughts drifted to Moze. Had she made it to school on time? Did she know anyone in her homeroom? Would they share any classes? Would he even cross paths with her on this gigantic campus?

As the bell rang, Ned slung his backpack onto his shoulder, wishing nothing more than to be across the street, back at Polk Middle School.

Glancing down at his schedule, he was relieved to find that his first class was in the same building he was already sitting in, in fact, the same classroom. He glanced up at his teacher in horror, could it be? First period Biology, he had none other than Mrs. Hargrove, the same teacher he had already made a lousy first impression with. Slumping down into his desk, he glanced up towards the ceiling, praying that he'd at least have a friend in the class.

As people slowly began to trickle into the classroom, Ned pulled out a new notebook, scribbling the date on the right hand corner of the first page. His new (school) year's resolution was to actually try for good grades this term. He had managed to skate through middle school doing the bare minimum required, but he had a feeling that things were about to get tougher.

He had just put his pencil down when he was forced to look up due to a familiar scent that infiltrated his personal space. Okay, if Moze ever found out that he thought she had a distinctive smell, she'd probably beat him up, but it was one of the many ways he used to sense her presence. Immediately, all of the tension of the morning evaporated and was replaced by a huge goofy grin that took up permanent occupancy on his face when she was around. Corny and sappy, yes? But he was certain this was what love felt like.

"I'm so glad you're here." Ned said quietly as Moze sat down beside him, scooting her desk slightly towards him, "Besides having a locker next to Lisa, you're the first person I've seen all day that I know."

"Tell me about it!" Moze groaned, "I saw some seniors terrorizing Coconut Head on my way to homeroom, but I didn't even have time to stop and help him out. This place is a nightmare!"

"At least we have class together. I have Spanish next period, then Algebra, Lunch, English, World History, and Gym."

"I have wood shop, Geometry, Lunch - we'll have to find a place to meet up so we can hang out together-, English, World History, and Athletic Gym. Then after school, I have Volleyball practice. Who do you have for English and History?"

After comparing schedules, Ned was relieved to find that he'd get to spend at least 3 and a half hours every day with Moze. Maybe this new school wouldn't be such a drag after all.

His opinion quickly changed; however, when the first words out of Mrs. Hargrove's mouth after the tardy bell rang were "Pop Quiz". As he accepted the fact that his first grade of the new term would likely be in the "failing" category, he couldn't help but remain in good spirits. After all, you couldn't win them all, and at least he got to spend every morning with Moze.

Aside from having Cookie in his Spanish and Gym class, Ned was surprised to see that not a lot of his old classmates were in his classes this year. He wasn't too thrilled to see Loomer in Algebra, although having talkative Martin in his English class made things a lot more interesting than their boring, ancient teacher possibly could have. All in all, the highlight of Ned's day was the brown eyed brunette that he spent the majority of his time with. By the time the school day was over, Ned dreaded going home. Not only would he have to ride the bus alone, but once he got home there would be no one to talk to or hang out with. Glancing at his watch and judging by his heavy backpack, he couldn't help but think that maybe this was a sign that he should get his homework done before Moze got home from Volleyball, or else risk not getting it done at all.

He walked through the front door of his house, dropping his backpack on the kitchen floor while he scoured the pantry for some sort of snack. The school lunches left much to be desired and he was starving. As he flopped down onto the sofa, picking up the remote, he felt a pang of guilt over neglecting his homework so early in the term, but as one of his favorite Ninja movies started to play, all thoughts of schoolwork became a distant memory. And as the movie played on, he felt his eyelids growing heavier as thoughts of his sleepless night began to catch up with him. Before the first commercial break, he had drifted to sleep.

"Ned? Ned?"

Ned blinked open his eyes, dazed and confused as he tried to assess his surroundings. He wasn't in bed, that was for sure, and he was still dressed in school clothes. And he could have sworn he heard Moze calling his name. Sitting up, he banged his forehead against his girlfriend's, moaning as he tried to get his bearings straight. He was on the sofa, and Moze was sitting next to him. Smiling. Yes, that was the new way he wanted to wake up from this point forward.

"Hey sleepy head." Moze said softly, "Your Mom said I could come in, she was leaving when I walked up. I was wondering if you wanted to go get some pizza or something…that is, unless you're too tired, if you are, we can always go some other time."

Her cheeks flushed pink, and Ned had to smile at her thoughtfulness, "No, no, I'm awake. That would be great. How was practice?"

"Pretty good. There's a lot of great players, I'm going to have to try extra hard to make a name for myself here." Moze replied, standing and offering her hand to Ned, "But this new school isn't as bad as I thought it would be."

Ned stood, stifling a yawn as he ran his fingers through his hair, "It's definitely not as bad as I had convinced myself it would be. Do you want to ask Cookie and Lisa to go with us?"

"I'd rather not; I'd like it to be just you and me." Moze replied, "It was so strange spending all of that time together today and not being alone. I guess I got really spoiled over the summer."

"Me too." Ned agreed, glancing at the clock on the nearby VCR, "Well, we better hurry before all of the booths are taken."

Almost seven hours later, Ned and Moze were lying in Ned's bed, facing each other as they quietly talked. The alarm on Ned's bedside table switched from 11:54 to 11:55 and began to beep loudly. With a heavy sigh, Ned turned it off and whispered, "I guess you have to get home now…"

"Yeah." Moze replied reluctantly, leaning in to let her lips connect with Ned's, "I wish I didn't have to."

"I'm sure both of our parents would _love_ for you to spend the night here." Ned said with a smirk, pulling her closer as their lips met once more, "I'll call you?"

"Give me ten minutes, I'll be waiting." Moze replied, standing and slipping on her shoes, "I love you."

He couldn't deny how much he thoroughly enjoyed hearing those three little words come out of Moze's mouth, "I love you too."

As she shut his bedroom door behind her, Ned rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. How did he ever get so lucky?

_TBC_


	2. Sick Days

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed chapter one, I hope I continue to please!! I love to know what you guys think, so don't be shy. _

_Jenny_

**Chapter Two: Sick Days**

The alarm went off much too early for Ned's liking, as usual, and he reached over and slammed his hand against the snooze button, letting his head fall back against the pillow heavily.

It was only then that he noticed how bad he felt. He was shivering beneath his covers, and he stomach felt the same way it did when he forgot about a big project or test that he hadn't prepared for. Sitting up, he fought back a wave of nausea and brought a hand to his pounding head. No, no, this was not a good day to stay home sick. Any other day, he'd welcome the chance to lay in bed and sleep the hours away, but today he had way too much going on.

For starters, there was the biology test he and Moze had been cramming for all week. Next on his list of important activities was one of the most anticipated volleyball games of the year, and Moze was going to be playing on a Junior Varsity level, which was nearly unheard of for Freshmen. Afterwards, he was going to take her out to a movie to celebrate, and since it was a Friday, their curfews had been extended to enable them to actually have fun before having to be home. And to top it all off, for as long as he could remember, the household rule was that if you missed Friday at school, you couldn't do anything for the entire weekend. And there was no way he was going to miss an entire weekend with Moze just because he felt a little under the weather.

He woozily stood, stumbling towards his closet and pulling out a pair of jeans and a polo shirt and tossing them onto his bed before coming to a stop in front of his mirror to attempt to make his hair look decent. Even this simple task had exhausted him, and as he walked to his bed to get dressed, he wanted nothing more than to lay down and curl up beneath his blankets. Every muscle ached, and the more he moved around, the weaker he felt.

Resigning himself to a day of medicine and bed, he tossed his clothes onto the floor, padding downstairs in his pajamas to seek out his mother. He found her in the kitchen, making pancakes, and he had to try not to gag as the nauseated feeling came back in full force, "Mom, I don't think I can go to school today, I don't feel well."

He had expected a fight from her. He expected an interrogation on whether or not he had studied enough for his test, or if there was a problem in school, if he had forgotten his homework or what the deal was. He had expected her to lecture him on staying up all night talking to Moze on the phone, or using this as some sort of way to shirk off responsibility. What he didn't expect, though, was for her to turn around, and immediately shoo him back upstairs, practically pushing him into bed.

"You lay here and I'm going to call Dr. Fielding's office and see if we can't get you an appointment for this morning. You look awful, son." Mrs. Bigby fussed, "Now I want you to call up Moze or Cookie and have them get your assignments for you, and then I want you to get some rest."

Ned needed no more encouragement than that, and with a yawn, he dialed Moze's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Ned, you sound terrible." Moze cooed, sounding concerned, "What's wrong?"

With a groan, Ned muttered, "I'm sick, I'm staying home today. Mom's making me an appointment with the doctor and everything. I was wondering if you could get my assignments for me."

"Mrs. Hargrove will be pissed that you're missing the big exam." Moze commented, "I feel bad for the wrath you'll have to endure."

Ned laughed weakly, "Well, I'd rather be taking that test than feeling like I do right now."

"That bad?" Moze asked, concerned, "Do you need something? Can I do anything?"

"You can give me the answers to the biology test." Ned joked, groaning as his stomach cramped, "Oh, Moze, I have to go."

He hung up the phone, barely making it to the bathroom before he got sick. He moved to the sink, splashing some cold water on his face as he looked up at his pale reflection in the mirror. He hated feeling so bad, he would take fifty biology tests with the evil Mrs. Hargrove if it meant that he felt human again.

Hearing his mother coming upstairs, Ned knew he had to get to bed and pretend like he wasn't feeling as bad as he was, or else he'd risk her hovering over him all day, trying to make him feel better when all he wanted to do was curl up and die. Unfortunately, his body refused to cooperate, and as he got sick again, he felt his mother's comforting hand placing a cool washcloth on the back of his neck, helping him to his feet once he was finished. "Come on Ned, back to bed with you."

And for the first time since puberty began, he couldn't help but feel comforted by his mother's overbearing presence for just a few minutes.

The doctor was unable to see him until late that afternoon, so after much insistence by Ned, his mother went off to work as scheduled, leaving him alone to his misery for the day. He had just started to doze off when he heard his door creak open. With a tired moan, he didn't even bother to open his eyes as he mumbled, "Mom, just go to work, I'll be fine."

"Mom, is that my new nickname now?"

Ned's eyes snapped open and he managed a weak smile in Moze's direction, "Moze…what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to check on you," Moze replied gently, sitting next to him on the bed, "You sounded bad…and you look pretty bad too. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Ned nearly melted as her hand brushed against his cheek, and he smiled softly, "You just being here helps…although I'm sure you'll be hating yourself for being with me once you have to take Mrs. Hargrove's makeup exam with me tomorrow."

"With all of that studying we put in?" Moze questioned with a smile, "We could write a book on cell functions, we've got it all down perfectly…if you want, I can stay with you all day." She paused, trying to gauge his reaction, "Unless you're feeling too bad, then I can leave you to get some rest."

Ned smiled weakly, squeezing her hand, "I wouldn't mind, although I wouldn't want you to catch what I have."

"All of that making out we did last night?" Moze smirked, "If I were to catch your germs, I would have already. Besides, you're worth the risk."

She stood, pulling Ned's covers up to his chest and kissing him gently on the cheek, "You lay down, and I'll lie beside you, and we'll both catch up on some rest."

"Oh, so it's just a plot to get into bed with me?"

"Hardy har har, Ned, you're hilarious." Moze replied dryly, "Stop talking and sleep, you need to save all of the energy that you can salvage, you're shaking."

And with Moze gently stroking his hair, both of them dozed off, her arm eventually lowering itself to his waist as she snuggled with him, enjoying the time alone, even if it was under such unfortunate circumstances.

--

Ned felt the bed move beside him as Moze sat up, moaning slightly. Rolling over onto his back, he blinked open his eyes, stifling a yawn, "You okay?"

"No." Moze muttered, rubbing her forehead, "I think I'm sick."

Pushing himself into a sitting position, he leaned over and placed his lips on her forehead, "You're warm. What hurts?"

"My head," Moze replied, "Ugh, I need an aspirin."

"I'll get you one." Ned replied, tiredly rising to feet, only to sink back on to the bed as a wave of dizziness washed over him, "In just a minute."

Moze grabbed his arm, pulling him down onto the pillow with her, "Lay down, you look like you're about to pass out."

They laid in silence for a few moments before Ned laughed softly, "We make a good pair, huh?"

Moze smiled, laying her head on his arm, "I already told you, you're worth it."

As their lips met, Ned's door creaked open and before either teen knew what was going on, the voice of Ned's mother filled the air.

"I can not believe you Ned Bigby! You convince me you're too sick to go to school, and then you invite Jennifer over to make out while no one's home? I can't believe I trusted you-"

Her rant was cut off as Moze jumped off the bed, her hand clamped tightly over her mouth as she dashed into Ned's bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. With a worried glance towards the shut door, Ned sighed heavily, "Mom, it's not like that. She came over to check on me, and decided that I needed someone to stay here, in case I needed something. We both fell asleep, and when we woke up, she wasn't feeling well. We haven't been making out all day, we _just_ woke up. I swear!"

Shooting Ned a disappointed glare, Mrs. Bigby moved to the bathroom door, knocking softly, "Jennifer, dear?"

"I'll be out in a minute." Jennifer croaked as the sound of the sink faucet penetrated the door.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No mam."

Ned's mother turned back towards her son, disappointment still evident on her face, although it was softening a bit, "I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with you, son. I never once thought you'd sneak around behind my back."

"We weren't trying to sneak around behind your back!" Ned protested, "We didn't plan this, it just happened. I'm sorry; I don't know what else to say."

"He's right," Moze said from behind Mrs. Bigby, "I'm sorry we betrayed your trust, but it definitely wasn't something we planned. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I didn't even tell Ned I was going to come over, I was just worried about him."

Mrs. Bigby sighed, a smile appearing on her face as the anger melted away, "I know I can trust the two of you, there has never been a reason not to." She paused before adding, "Ned, it's time for your doctor's appointment. Jennifer, you should come along, I'll call your mother and let her know that you are sick and I'm going to run you to the doctor's office as well. Don't worry, I won't tell her you skipped school, your secret's safe with me."

She walked out of the room, leaving Ned and Moze alone in silence. Moze walked to the bed, sitting down on the edge with a sigh, "Well, that was awkward."

"A bit." Ned replied, "But it definitely could have been worse."

Moze nodded, rubbing her forehead once more, "You and your germs."

Ned squeezed her free hand, his voice soft and filled with concern as he asked, "Are you alright? You look terrible."

"I feel terrible." Moze replied, leaning her head on his shoulder with a soft moan, "I blame you, you know."

"I know." Ned responded with a slight smile, "I thought you said I was worth the risk?"

Moze glanced up to meet his gaze, "You are, definitely, but I'm still blaming you."

Ned leaned his head against hers, whispering, "I'm sorry I got you sick."

"Oh, I'm sure I can think of a thousand ways for you to make it up to me." Moze replied with a dreamy smile, "And now that you've infected me, you owe me."

With a laugh, Ned placed his hand on her forehead, "You must be delirious."

--

"Well this definitely could have turned out a lot worse." Ned commented on Sunday afternoon, sitting on the floor with his back against his bed, while Moze laid on her stomach, flipping through a notebook, "I mean, we're both feeling great now, and our parents still let us hang out even though we missed school."

"I know...I'm glad we got to spend this time together." Moze replied, closing her notebook and glancing at her boyfriend, "Do you think you're ready for Mrs. Hargrove's makeup test?"

"As ready as I'm going to be." Ned snorted, flipping off his TV as Moze sat down beside him, "You?"

"I'm all studied out." Moze admitted, glancing at the clock, "It's almost dinner time, I should go home."

"Call me later?"

"Of course."

After giving him a soft kiss on the lips, Moze stood and slung her backpack onto her shoulder, "See you later."

Once Moze had left, Ned flopped onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His pillow still smelled like Moze, and if he tried, he could still feel her lips on his. He glanced out the window, watching as she walked into her own house, her brown ponytail bobbing on top of her head. He had never felt this way about a girl before...about anyone.

The phone rang, pulling him from his thoughts. With a silly grin on his face, he answered, ready to tease Moze about calling so soon when she had been in a hurry to get to dinner.

"Hello?"

_"Hey Ned, it's me, Suzie."_

And with those five little words, things began to go downhill.

_TBC_


	3. Punishments

_A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who is reading and reviewing, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'll try to have an update early next week if there's enough interest._

_Jenny_

**Chapter Three: Punishment**

"_Hey Ned, it's me, Suzie."_

Ned's heart skipped a beat and his heart began to flutter. Why would Suzie be calling him? Especially after all they had gone through at the end of the previous school year? It was obvious he was with Moze, and as far as he knew, Suzie had started dating some upperclassman the first week of school. Sure, he and Suzie weren't enemies, but they could hardly call themselves friends.

"H-h-hi Suzie." Ned stammered, feeling himself break out into a cold sweat, "How's it going?"

"Pretty good," Suzie replied, "I couldn't find you in school Friday, and I wanted to let you know that Josh, you know, my boyfriend Josh, and I are going to be throwing a party at my house next Friday night, since my parents are going to be out of town. I'd really like it if you and Jennifer would come...there probably won't be too many people in our grade, but Josh is inviting a lot of his friends."

"Uh, sure." Ned replied, relieved to know this wasn't some sort of profession of love or anything equally as disturbing. "I mean, I'll have to check with Moze, but I'm sure she'd want to go too."

He could almost hear Suzie's smile as she responded enthusiastically, "Great! I'll see you then!"

Hanging up the phone, Ned fell back against his pillow, thinking about the upcoming party. Would Moze think he was still pining after Suzie if he asked her to go? Would they even feel comfortable at a party full of Juniors? Why had Suzie even invited him? It wasn't as if they were on the most popular list, and it wasn't as if they had remained good friends after breaking up. As a matter of fact, this was the first time he had spoken to her since their middle school graduation.

His thoughts were interrupted by his mother shouting up to him that dinner was ready, and as he made his way downstairs, he decided the best thing to do was just bring it up to Moze, if she seemed uncomfortable with it, they'd watch movies and eat pizza like they traditionally did every Friday night.

--

"Sure, that would be fun." Moze shrugged, slamming her locker closed, "But don't you think you may feel a little awkward being around Suzie after the two of you broke up?"

Ned shrugged in response, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as they began walking towards their biology class, "Why would it? I'm with you now, and we're happy. She's with what's-his-face and I guess they're happy. It's just a party, we'll probably hardly ever see her."

"We've never been to a high school party." Moze replied, excitement building in her voice, "And now we get to go to one with Juniors and Seniors!"

"So we're going?" Ned asked, a smile tugging on his lips as he watched his girlfriend's excitement grow. He loved the way she was so animated when she was really into something, and as usual, her happiness was nearly contagious.

Moze pushed open the door to their classroom, sitting down and nodding, "Yeah, we should. After all, not only do we get to show Suzie how happy we are together, we also get to do it at a _party_."

Ned smirked, about to respond when Mrs. Hargrove appeared in front of them, a disapproving glare on her face, "How convenient that both of you missed the exam Friday."

"I have a doctor's excuse." Ned and Moze blurted out in unison, reaching for the small white sheet that would (hopefully) quench the fire in their teacher's eyes. Grabbing the sheets from their hands, Mrs. Hargrove gave it an intense look before shooting the duo a look of contempt, "The two of you can go into the hallway and wait for me to come with your make up exam."

Bringing their pencils with them, Ned and Moze trudged apprehensively into the hallway, taking a seat in the desks the teacher had apparently set up for them.

"I don't know why she's so mad," Ned complained, "I mean, it's not like we wanted to be at home, near death."

"Near death?" Moze questioned, a smile on her lips, "Don't you think that's a little melodramatic?"

"Near death." Ned confirmed with a nod, tapping his pencil against the desk top, "I heard her make up exams are essays."

"So did I." Moze replied, "But we're ready, we studied our butts off for this test."

Mrs. Hargrove walked into the hallway, placing a test on Ned's desk and one on Moze's. Ned glanced at Moze, who smiled softly at home, and mouthed, "Good luck."

As it turned out, luck would be the only thing that would help the two pass the exam. The next morning, Ned sat in his desk, scowling as he stared at the D- on his essay. Next to him sat an equally irritated Moze, who was doing her best to cover up the large C on her own paper.

"I hate this class."

Moze glanced over at Ned, replying, "I totally agree. How did I get a C? I practically recited the textbook on all of the questions, I should have gotten an A. This is so unfair."

"I've never studied that hard to still fail." Ned grumbled, "My Mom's going to kill me."

"Your Mom? At least she is used to seeing low marks. My Mom's going to have a fit! I'll probably be grounded for the rest of the year." Moze moaned, sinking down in her chair as she imagined the look on her parents face when they found out their A-student was now making a C, barely making a C, "They're going to say it's because we're spending too much time together...what if they stop letting us hang out? Or make us break up?"

Ned shook his head, reaching over to squeeze her hand, "That's not going to happen. Just promise you'll try harder and it'll blow over. Mrs. Hargrove loves giving tests; we'll have plenty of chances to make the grade up."

"Okay." Moze muttered, still not totally convinced, but willing to let the issue drop, "I have volleyball practice after school, but maybe after, we can go get some pizza or go to a movie?" She paused, smiling slightly, "I'll wait until after that to mention the grade to my Mom."

"Sure!" Ned agreed, his smile brightening a bit, "That would be great."

"Mr. Bigby, in light of your recent exam grade, I would suggest paying attention to my lecture instead of chatting it up with your girlfriend." Came the tight voice of Mrs. Hargrove, "Miss Moseley, the same advice would also apply to you as well."

With smoldering glares, both Ned and Moze sunk down into their desks, flipping over their notebooks.

--

"What do you mean you can't go?" Ned groaned, walking to his window so he could look at Moze, who was standing near her own window, "Did you tell them you were going to study harder?"

"I did, I even promised an A on the next one, but my Mom won't budge. She thinks I'm spending too much time out of the house and not enough in front of my textbooks. She accused us of not studying at all last week when we made study dates. She was already in a bad mood, and the grade just set her off. She told me no more going out on school nights, and I'm grounded this weekend. It's so unfair."

"Yeah, it is." Ned replied sympathetically, "I can't believe she flipped out over a C. My Mom would be grateful for a C, most of the time."

Moze shrugged, glancing at Ned through the window, "You can go without me, if you want to. I don't want you to miss out just because my Mom's in a mood."

"I'm not going to go without you, Moze." Ned replied, "If you can't go out, we can just stay at home and talk on the phone. If we're at the window, it's almost like we're together."

He watched Moze's disappointed face light up at his statement, and he felt his own heart skip a beat as he felt himself grow excited by her happiness. Leaning against the window sill, he added, "A party wouldn't be the same without you, nothing's the same without you."

"Now you're just being mushy." Moze teased, although it was clear by the way she was blushing that she somewhat enjoyed it, "It's just disappointing that we'll miss our Friday date. We haven't missed a Friday together in years."

Ned laughed, "Then march downstairs and tell your mother that you won't be pushed around and that you're going to see me Friday night whether she wants you to or not."

"She'd probably board my windows shut just to make sure we didn't 'see' each other." Moze laughed, "Are you coming to the volleyball game tomorrow night?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good, my parents are going to be working late, so they won't be able to come. After the game, we can hang out for a bit." Moze said, her smile faltering after a few seconds, "My Mom's calling me, I'll call you back later, okay?"

"I'll be here." Ned replied with a slight wave, hanging up the phone and watching Moze disappear from her bedroom. He wouldn't deny that he was disappointed that they weren't going to go to Suzie's party; the more he had thought about it, the better it had sounded. Now, he would be stuck at home, having window-telephone conversations with Moze. Not that he minded phone conversations, it was just so much different than what they had planned, and it was sort of a let down. Pushing negative thoughts aside, he unzipped his backpack and pulled out his math homework sheet. At least he could start getting some work done before Moze called back, although he was fairly certain his math teacher would pass out from shock if he actually turned in an assignment on time.

--

Friday came quickly for both Moze and Ned, who had both moped around glumly during class while people talked incessantly about Suzie's party. After school, Ned laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Moze was going to call him after she got back from volleyball practice, and they had planned to stay in the phone all night, no matter what. He knew he should be doing something productive, maybe cleaning his room or starting on some of his reading assignments for English class, but all he could think about is what he and Moze would miss out on tonight at the party.

His door creaked open and without looking, he scowled, "Go away Mom!"

"Someone's in a grumpy mood."

Hearing a familiar voice and laugh, he turned his head quickly, rising into a sitting position, "Moze! What are you doing here? Your Mom will kill you if she finds out you're over here." He hopped up and closed his blinds before pulling her into a hug, "Not that I'm upset you're here, I just don't want you to be in any more trouble than you already are."

Moze smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting their lips meet softly, "My parents had to go to a conference for Dad's work...they won't be home until late. I took the house phone off the hook, so if they call, they'll think I'm just on the other line. I left my window cracked, so when I see them pull in, I can climb in the window and pretend I'm in my room before they even notice I'm gone."

Ned stared at Moze, an eyebrow raised, "Who are you and what have you done with _my_ Moze? You'd really want to scam your parents like that?"

"Why not? My punishment was unfair, and we always spend Friday night together." Moze shrugged, "If I could figure out a way to get to Suzie's without either of our parents noticing, I'd say we should even go to the party."

With a sly smile, Ned pulled his cell phone from his pocket, "Well if that's what you want, I can arrange it."

_TBC_


	4. Accidents

_A/N: Thank you all for reading and a special thank you to all who reviewed. Sorry it took me so long to get it out, school started this week and things have been hectic, to say the least. I could be persuaded to have another chapter written over the weekend. ___

_Jenny_

**Chapter Four: Accidents**

"Thanks for picking us up," Ned said with a grin as he fastened his seat belt then grabbed Moze's hand, "See, I told you I could get us to the party."

"My parents are going to kill me." Moze responded, half with dread, half with defiance. She glanced over at Cookie, who was seated next to her, although his attention was focused only on Lisa, who sat in the front passenger seat, "But it's awesome for you to help us out like this."

"Don't thank me, thank Lisa and Morgan." Cookie replied, motioning to the front seat, "I'm just glad you caught us before we left my house."

"Thanks again, Morgan." Ned directed at Lisa's 16 year old neighbor.

Morgan nodded her head, glancing up in the rear view mirror, "No problem, just don't go around telling people I played chauffer to three freshmen, okay?"

"Deal." Ned replied before whispering to Moze, "Everything will be fine, we'll have a great time and get back before your parents do. We don't have to stay the whole time; we just need to make an appearance."

Moze nodded silently, trying to quench the butterflies that flooded her stomach at the mere thought of what her parents would do if they caught her going to Suzie's party after they forbid it. Sneaking to Ned's house was one thing; she knew she could pull off getting home before they realized she was gone. But being halfway across town? It was an open invitation for trouble. Still, she had to relax and try to have a good time; after all, it _was_ a party.

--

The first thing Ned noticed when he arrived at Suzie's was how crowded her house was. He had never seen so many people gathered in such a small space before; it definitely outdid any middle school party he had attended. His first instinct was to stand with his jaw open while taking in all of the action going on around him. Instead, he forced himself to remain cool and lead Moze to the area where people had congregated for drinks.

"What will it be, Bigby?" Josh, Suzie's boyfriend, questioned, "Beer or something a little harder?"

"We don't drink." Moze answered before Ned could even wrap his mind around what he had just been asked, "And you shouldn't either, it's dangerous, not to mention illegal."

Josh laughed, taking a sip from his own red plastic cup, "You're kidding, right? That's why I told Suzie to only invite upperclassmen; kids can't handle a high school party."

"We can handle a party just fine," Moze retorted, her voice becoming slightly angry, "We just want to be able to remember it in the morning."

"Look Moze, let's go say hi to Seth and Evelyn," Ned replied, more than just a little embarrassed over what looked to be a serious confrontation brewing between Moze and Josh, "Come on."

Moze glared at Josh, indicating this was far from over, before Ned pulled her away, hissing, "What was that?"

"Oh come on, you know drinking is stupid and dangerous. People can _die_ from it Ned. Don't you remember all of those stories they told us in health class?" Moze hissed, "And for him to imply that we weren't as 'cool' as him because we didn't want any? He had it coming!"

Rolling his eyes, Ned sighed, "Okay, so we don't drink and we know it's a bad idea. That's our opinion. Plenty of people in high school drink, and alienating them won't make the next four years go by any smoother. Can't you just ignore them?"

A few feet away, one of the more popular seniors stood up on the sofa, giving out a loud yell before jumping off the back, accidentally knocking over a lamp and causing the whole room to erupt into laughter.

"Maybe not _ignore_," Ned amended before Moze could interject, "But tolerate?"

Moze sighed loudly, wrapping an arm around him before responding, "Okay, fine. But don't expect me to get wasted and act like _them_." She motioned to a group of older kids grinding against each other; barely to the beat of the music with clumsy movements that she was certain they had thought looked amazing.

They had circled the entire house, mingling and having fun, before they ran into Josh again. He looked less than thrilled to see them, although he didn't dare to say anything in front of Suzie, who flashed Ned and Moze friendly smiles before giving him a smoldering glare.

"I'm sorry about the way I treated you two earlier," Josh grumbled, "So we dug around and found some fruit punch for the two of you to drink. Sorry I gave you such a hard time."

Ned and Moze each took a cup, murmuring a quiet, thanks before both the host and her boyfriend were once again lost in the crowd.

Ned took a sip, smiling brightly, "This is great."

"It is," Moze replied, "It's nice that Suzie was able to make him respect my opinion, even if he doesn't agree with it. I didn't think she'd really like us all too much after what happened on the 8th grade field trip, but she's still a pretty good friend, isn't she?"

Ned nodded, taking another long sip from his juice, "We'll have to find out what brand this is, it's great," he caught Suzie's eye in the crowd and gave her a small wave, "So Moze, are you having fun?"

She nodded in response, finishing her juice and placing the cup on a nearby table, "This was a great idea. The way I see it, we should leave around 10:30 to make it back to my place by 11. Usually they're home sometime between 11 and 11:15 when they do these conferences and leaving at 10:30 will give us a few extra minutes just in case something comes up."

"You're worrying too much again," Ned murmured, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in for a kiss, "Just relax."

"Hey Moze!" Lisa called out, walking in their direction, "Want to come dance with Morgan and I?"

Moze looked at Ned, who nodded encouragingly, "Go ahead, I don't feel like dancing anyway. I'm going to go get some more punch and look for Cookie."

A few seconds later, Moze was lost in the crowd and Ned was left alone to seek out company. With this many people around, it shouldn't be hard to find someone to talk to. After a few minutes of roaming, he came across Suzie and Josh, who thrust another cup into his hand, "Thought you may be getting thirsty."

"Thanks." Ned replied, looking at Suzie, "This is a great party."

"I know." Suzie responded with a smile, "I'm glad you could make it, I've hardly seen you at all so far this year."

"I'm going to go see what Peter and Chuck are doing, I'll be back." Josh interrupted, giving Suzie a quick kiss before leaving her alone with Ned.

There was an awkward silence before Suzie spoke up, "You and Moze seem to be doing really well together."

"Yeah, I really like her a lot." Ned replied, "She's really special."

"I'm happy for you; you deserve to be with someone who really cares about you." Suzie replied, a grin appearing on her face, "I won't lie, I was pretty pissed about the whole incident on the field trip, but I'm glad things worked out like they did. You and Moze are great together, and I'm really glad I had the opportunity to go out with Josh, he's really a great guy."

"You deserve to be happy too," Ned murmured, "So are we still friends?"

"Definitely." Suzie grinned, jumping slightly when Josh came up behind her, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"Hey Suzie, Chuck and I are going on a beer run, want to come?" Josh questioned, clumsily nibbling on her earlobe, his voice slightly slurred.

Suzie looked from Ned to Josh before shaking her head, "No, I should stay here. My parents would freak if they knew I left a party unattended."

"Your parents would freak if they knew you had a party at all." Josh reminded her, "Come on, it'll be fun."

Suzie shook her head again, "No, you're drunk. I'm not stupid enough to get into a car with someone who's drunk."

"I'm not drunk," Josh replied, kissing her cheek again, "I haven't had a lot, I'm fine to drive."

Suzie sighed, putting down her cup while giving Ned an apologetic smile, "Okay, let's go, but we have to make it quick."

Suzie and Josh disappeared into the crowd and Ned finished the last of his punch, feeling slightly woozy as he scanned the crowd for his girlfriend. He raised a hand to his forehead, noticing the dull ache that was beginning to throb through his entire head. He really hoped he wasn't having a relapse of that nasty virus he had the previous week. He spotted Moze standing near a window next to Lisa, who to Ned's surprise was drinking a beer.

"Ned!" Moze exclaimed, giving Ned a kiss on the cheek as he walked up, "Where have you been, I've been looking for you?"

Ned motioned towards the kitchen area, "Talking to Suzie. Are you almost ready to go? It's 10:30."

"I'll see if I can find Morgan." Lisa interjected, leaving Ned and Moze alone.

"So what were you and Suzie talking about?" Moze asked, squeezing Ned's hand slightly, "Are you okay? You don't look very well."

Ned offered a small smile, "I'm fine, just a headache." He leaned forward, giving her a gentle kiss on the lips, "Suzie and I were discussing what a wonderful girlfriend you are and how happy she is that we started dating. I was telling her how important and special you are to me."

"You were not." Moze laughed, swatting him on the arm with a slight blush, "Come on, what were you really talking about?"

Ned laughed, pulling her close, "That is what we were talking about, I swear. I'll tell anyone who will listen how great you are, didn't you know that?"

Moze blushed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked out into the crowd, spotting Lisa, Morgan, and Cookie, "Look, they found Morgan, let's go."

The minute they got to Morgan, it was clear she had been drinking. Judging by Lisa and Cookie's giggly behavior, it wasn't hard to see they had been as well. Ned couldn't deny he was surprised, he had never really given teenage drinking any thought, but Cookie didn't really seem like the type to try it. Of course, he could always just chalk it up to another new, different thing about high school and high school parties.

"Come on Ned, we'll just walk." Moze said, her eyes darting from Cookie to Lisa to Morgan, "My mom would kill me if she knew I got into a car with someone who had been drinking."

"Are you kidding, it would take us hours to get home if we walked." Ned argued, "And you need to be home soon, before your parents get there. I'm sure Morgan's okay to drive." He turned to Morgan, "Are you?"

Morgan nodded, thrusting her beer can into Lisa's hands, "I've only had a few, I'm fine."

"I don't think it's a good idea." Moze hissed into Ned's ear, "Very dangerous."

Lisa spoke up, putting her hand on Moze's arm, "Morgan's a very good driver and she'd never get in the car if she didn't feel totally safe doing so."

Moze shook her head, shooting Ned a look of mixed disappointment and anger, "If you want to go with them, fine, but I'm going to walk."

Moze turned to walk out the door, and Ned looked helplessly at his friends, "What do I do?"

"Let her walk." Cookie shrugged, "Or walk with her. It's really up to you."

Ned turned to Moze's retreating form, and felt a stab of pain in his forehead. His head was starting to hurt worse, and the idea of a 5 or 6 mile walk didn't seem too appealing. With a heavy sigh, he let Moze go, knowing that he'd regret it later but unable to summon up enough willpower to go after her.

--

Moze made it as far as the gas station a block from Suzie's house before giving in and calling a cab to pick her up. She had never been so furious with Ned in her entire life. She couldn't believe he had let her leave, alone late at night, to walk home. She knew that men could be stupid sometimes, but she had no idea that Ned would ever do such a thing to her. Normally he was so thoughtful and considerate. If he had learned anything while dating Suzie, it was how to properly treat a girlfriend. She just couldn't understand why he'd choose to ride home with someone he barely knew and who they both knew had been drinking.

By the time she got home, she was still burning with fury. Throwing her house keys down on her desk, she shot a glare towards Ned's house and stomped into her bathroom to take a shower. With any luck, he'd be home by the time she was done and she could call him and give him a piece of her mind. She slipped into her pajamas and brushed her wet hair out, deciding not to waste her time blow drying it when she'd just be going to bed soon. She glanced out the window, disappointed to see that while the main lights downstairs in Ned's house were on, his bedroom was still dark. Picking up a novel she was reading for English class, she laid down in bed, trying to distract herself from the wave of emotions circulating through her veins.

Fifteen minutes later, she heard a car door slam. Glancing out her window, she was disappointed to see that it was just her parents returning, Ned's window still dark. What was taking him so long? She had been home for nearly half an hour. Logically, she knew that without her tying him down, he probably decided to stay and enjoy the party a little longer. Suzie's party. The thought of Ned and Suzie together made her stomach turn, and with a bitter sigh, she picked up her book once more, barely murmuring a good night as her parents stuck their heads in the door on their way to bed.

Another half hour passed before any more noise was heard outside. Hearing a car, and the corresponding car doors, Moze looked out her window again, surprised to see Ned's parents pulling quickly out of the driveway. Glancing up, Ned's room was still dark. She sat back down, placing the bookmark into her book. It was almost midnight now. Where would they be going so late? Several possibilities ran through her head, starting with the most ominous 'something happened to Ned' before tapering down to some more reassuring ones, such as 'Ned decided not to ride with a drunk driver, and he called his parents to come pick him up'. Her stomach was in knots as her mind went over all possible scenarios, and after a few minutes, she wasn't able to restrain herself from calling to make sure he was okay, even though in her mind she knew she should still be angry with him for leaving her alone.

As his cell phone went straight to voice mail, her blood ran cold. Ned always answered his cell phone. Something had to be wrong.

_TBC_


	5. Aftermath

_A/N: I got this done more quickly than expected, although I did have to split the original chapter into two, or else it would have stretched into a very, very long chapter. I appreciate the response I got to the previous chapter, thank you all so much for reading. _

**Chapter Five: Aftermath**

Ned groaned slightly, tugging on his blanket to block out the cold air that was assaulting his body. Tugging once more on the thin blanket, he began to whimper, knowing that something wasn't right. His blanket at home wasn't thin and rough, it was warm and soft, and if he was at home in his own bed, he wouldn't be wearing a...he reached down, eyes still shut, and felt to see what, in fact, he was wearing. A dress? He forced his tired eyes open, only to be temporarily blinded by bright lights shining around him. Where was he? What was going on? Why did he feel like he had been hit by a truck? Squeezing his eyes shut again, he began to slightly panic.

"Ned? Ned, honey, open your eyes."

He heard his mother's voice, and then the click of a lamp. When he ventured to open his eyes once more, he found the room to be more hospitable to his eyes. He looked around cautiously, realizing at once that he was not in his bedroom, nor in the comfort of his own home, he was in a hospital room, wearing a hospital gown, hooked up to an IV and under careful surveillance of his parents.

How had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered was leaving Suzie's party with Morgan, Cookie, and Lisa.

_They walked out of Suzie's house, laughing hysterically at something Cookie had said while making their way to Morgan's car. _

"_My Dad would kill me if he knew I was driving after drinking." Morgan stated, "Even if it was just a little bit...some people are so uptight. People drive while buzzed all the time; it's the people who are falling down drunk that kill others while driving."_

"_Well if I was your dad," Ned retorted, "And I bought my kid a nice, new, expensive sports car, I'd be worried about her wrecking it too."_

"_It is an awesome car, isn't it?" Morgan contemplated, "It wasn't what I wanted, but I definitely won't complain. It goes from 0-60 in 6 seconds flat without even trying."_

_As they all got into the car, Morgan strapped her seat belt and cranked up the radio, "Do you guys want to see what it can do?"_

"_Yeah!" Ned and Cookie both exclaimed, the testosterone in their body perking up at the idea of revving up the engine in such a fine car. _

_They pulled out into the street and Morgan tapped the gas a few times, setting the mood before she put her foot down, the tires squealing as the car took off. Both Ned and Cookie were giddy with excitement until Lisa shouted, "Morgan, a stop sign! Stop!"_

_Before Ned and Cookie, in the back seat, could realize what was going on, there was a bright light and the distinct sound of metal crunching against metal. The last thing he heard was Morgan's terrified screams as his world went dark. _

"Ned? Ned, answer me!"

He snapped out of his memory, unaware that his parents had both been questioning him and were now gazing upon him with a mixture of concern and anger.

"Wh...What?" Ned croaked out, his throat dry and scratchy, his own voice making his head throb more intensely, "What did you say?"

"Your mother wanted to know why not only were you drinking underage at a party, but why you were riding in a car with a drunk driver. Didn't we have this conversation when you first began school? We clearly stated that if you happened to drink at a party or anywhere, to call us and we'd pick you up, no questions asked. Instead, you deliberately disobeyed us and now look at the mess that you're in!"

Ned flinched at his father's hard voice, his mind slowly digesting the lecture he was receiving. Something didn't seem quite right...no, something wasn't right, "Wait, I wasn't drinking at Suzie's party!"

"Don't lie to us," his mother replied quietly, concern melting away from her face, replaced by a deep frown of disappointment, "Ned, they did bloodwork when they brought you guys in, you had all been drinking."

"I swear, Mom, I wasn't drinking!" Ned exclaimed, "Suzie and Josh offered me some, but I turned them down. I don't drink, the test has to be wrong or something, the only thing I had at Suzie's house was fruit punch. Regular fruit punch."

If possible, her frown deepened even more, "How can you possibly expect us to believe that? Especially when your friend Morgan was at almost twice the legal limit to drive, and Cookie and Lisa were right above it?"

"I don't know!" Ned retorted indignantly, "But I wasn't drinking. I wouldn't lie to you Mom. You can call Moze, she was with me, and we both didn't drink. We were like the only two people there who didn't drink."

His mother shook her head, sitting down on Ned's bedside, "Do you know how dangerous it is to get into a car with someone who's been drinking? You're lucky you weren't killed, you're lucky to have only the minor injuries that you do have. Your father and I were so scared when we got that call, I never want to be put into that position again."

"I...I'm sorry Mom." Ned replied, his own eyes welling with tears as his mother started to cry, "I swear, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Morgan said she hadn't had that much to drink and that she was okay to drive. She seemed normal to me. I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry."

"Ned, do you remember anything that happened after the accident?"

Ned paused, trying to have some sort of recollection of his memory, but was unable to piece together anything from the crash until now, "No."

"Sweetie, some of your friends weren't as lucky as you were." His mother said gently, her hand on his knee, "Morgan's car collided with another car, which was being driven by Josh Daigle."

"S...Suzie's Josh?" Ned asked, his heart racing, "Is Suzie okay?"

By the look on his parents faces, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer. His heart pounded as the room sat in silence, his stomach tight and his head painfully throbbing. Suzie had to be okay, he just saw her at the party and she was so happy, so beautiful. She hadn't even wanted to go with Josh, something like this wouldn't happen to someone like Suzie.

"Josh and his other passenger are alright, but Suzie was hurt."

Ned swallowed hard, his ears ringing slightly, "Hurt...but not..."

"No, she's in a coma. She's had severe trauma to the brain and spinal cord, and they aren't sure if she'll wake up." His father said softly, "Her parents are devastated."

Ned sank back against his pillows, his head swimming. Suzie was hurt, bad. Because of a car accident that wouldn't have happened if one, he and Cookie hadn't been eager to see the horsepower of Morgan's car in action, and two, if he hadn't been adamant on going home to check on Moze after he had treated her so badly. In a twisted sort of way, Suzie was in a coma because of...him.

His heart fluttered as the faces of Lisa and Cookie swam into his vision. If he was okay, then the friends who had been with him should be okay too. Of course, if Josh and Chuck walked away without an injury and Suzie was in critical condition, anything could have happened. With a shaky voice, he asked with glistening eyes, "What about Cookie? Lisa and Morgan?"

--

Moze finally dozed off at 3:45 am, after staring intently at Ned's driveway, silently willing him, begging him, to come home or to call her. She felt sick with worry, knowing that the longer Ned's parents were gone, the more likely it was that something bad had happened. She hated not knowing, she hated herself for leaving like she did, without insisting Ned follow her. Sure, he was capable of making his own decisions, but if she had pushed him hard enough, she could have changed his mind. In all the years that she had known him, she had learned a lot about influencing Ned's behavior.

She had only been asleep for a few minutes when the phone rang, causing her jump, wide awake. She reached for the phone, but saw that one of her parents had already answered it. Her heard racing, she looked out the window. Ned's parents still weren't home. Phone calls in the middle of the night were never meaningless chit chat; they were usually infused with bad news.

She sat in bed, trying to calm herself down, willing herself not to panic unless she knew what was going on. It wouldn't do any good to panic for no reason...although she had a sinking feeling that there was probably plenty of reason to panic. Her worst fears were confirmed when her mother opened her bedroom door, knocking softly, "Jennifer?"

Moze remained silent, though she flicked on her bedside lamp, allowing the soft light to illuminate the room, as well as her mother's worn face. She held her breath as her mother sat down on her bed, squeezing her hand, "Sweetie, Susan Bigby just called..."

"Ned?" Moze asked, her breath catching in her throat as her face paled, "It's Ned, isn't it? That's why they never came home."

Her mother continued, inching closer to her shivering daughter, "There was a car accident...apparently there was some drinking going on at Suzie's party and as some of the kids began to leave, their inhibitions were lowered-"

"Ned?" Moze asked again, unable to form another word besides the name of the boy on her mind. Her mother grimaced slightly, and Moze's heart skipped a beat. Her own breathing was loud in comparison to the silence of the room as her mother continued.

"Ned's going to be fine, Jen. He had a mild concussion and a couple of cuts and bruises, so they're keeping him at the hospital overnight. His parents are down there with him now, he's awake and alert, and he'll be just fine."

"So what aren't you telling me?" Moze questioned, her voice shaking. She knew her mother well enough to know when she was skirting around the issue at hand, and at this particular moment, nothing that her mom had to say would compare to the horrible scenarios flashing through her mind. Her voice came out slightly more hysterical than she would have wanted as she questioned, "Mom?"

"Oh Jen," Her mother said with a heavy sigh, tears welling in her eyes as she squeezed Moze's hands, "Suzie Crabgrass is in a coma, and she may not wake up. And Cookie...Cookie..."

"No." Moze stated, pulling away from her mother as she read the unspoken sympathy and concern on her mother's face, "Don't tell me-"

"I'm sorry Jen, Cookie didn't make it."

_TBC_


	6. Grief

_A/N: Thank you for all who reviewed, reviews are what keeps the chapters coming quickly. As always, I enjoy hearing what you think. _

_Jenny_

**Chapter Six: Grief**

Moze sat straddling the window ledge, one foot inside and one foot outside as she tried to focus on her novel. She knew it was pointless, not only did she not want to study, she couldn't get Cookie and Ned out of her mind. 24 hours ago, things had been so different. She wanted to feel angry, she wanted to cry, but instead, she only found herself numb. In order to grieve, she'd have to accept the fact that Cookie was gone, and she wasn't willing to do that just yet.

How could someone be perfectly fine one minute, and then just a few hours later not even exist anymore? It didn't seem real, she wanted to wake up from this nightmare, call Cookie and tell him about it, so they could laugh and she could hear for herself that this was not happening. He was so young, people their age didn't die, it wasn't right. Old people died…her grandfather, for instance, but he was in his 70s. Cookie was barely in his teens.

The other reason she couldn't focus had to do with Ned. She had been sitting in this same spot when he came home with his parents a few hours earlier, and she had to admit he looked pretty bad. His normally pale skin was a pale shade of grey, and he looked like every movement caused him pain. Judging by his torn, bloody clothes he had come home in, she could see why. She had seen him pull some pretty dangerous, not to mention stupid, stunts in school, but never did he look this worn afterwards. Ned's mother had helped him into the house while his father had waved up to her with a weak, tired smile. She had been hoping to catch Ned's attention, but he seemed too exhausted to even realize she was there.

She knew he'd need his rest, so she had remained on the ledge, dialing six digits of his telephone number over and over again, only to talk herself out of dialing the last number so he could get some rest. She had hoped he would come to his window, he usually did every so often when he was in his room, but so far everything had been still in his room. She had seen his mother usher him in, and he disappeared into his bathroom only to emerge moments later in his pajamas. He hadn't even glanced out the window before crawling into his bed, and since then, he hadn't stirred.

She had always felt closer to Ned than to Cookie, not only for the fact that they had known each other longer, but also because they had been next door neighbors for as long as she could remember. They had met Cookie in school, and though he didn't live far from them, he wasn't able to come over to her or Ned's houses as much as they'd go to each other's. Still, Cookie was one of her best friends and so important to her. She didn't know what she would do Monday when she went to school and he wasn't there.

Sighing heavily, she decided to go for it and call Ned. She dialed his number, surprised to have it answered on the first ring.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, it's Moze. Can I talk to Ned?" For the first time in years, her voice wavered slightly as an unexpected bout of nervousness washed over her.

"_I'm sorry Moze, but he's sleeping and he really needs the rest. I'll tell him you called, though." _

With a heavy sigh, Moze put down the phone, staring intently into Ned's window, willing him to wake up. If anyone could understand how she felt, it would be Ned. For their whole lives, they've been the 'Three Musketeers', without Cookie, it felt like there was a gaping hole in her heart, in her life.

She crawled back into her room, digging through her desk until she found a familiar blue and silver book. She had made identical scrapbooks for her, Ned, and Cookie at the end of sixth grade, marking all of their times together. Even now, she felt proud of the work she had done when she looked at it. Sitting back in her window spot, she wondered if the boys still had theirs.

She flipped open the first page, which contained a photograph of the three of them during a first grade field trip. Even then, Ned was the smallest of the three, although sandwiched between Moze and Cookie, he wore the brightest smile of them all. On the second page was several photos of them from their first grade year, always together, always giddy and happy.

She made it through the fourth grade photos before tears began to fall on the pages, blurring her eyesight and leaving dark splotches against the pristine white paper. She slammed the book shut, dropping it onto her bedroom floor. How could this be happening? How could he be gone?

Movement out of the corner of her eye stopped her tearful fit and she suddenly became alert. She saw Ned sit up, rubbing his head gently, before trudging into the bathroom. A wave of relief flooded through her. He'd come out, he'd see her waiting, and he'd call her. Even if he didn't notice her, with his overbearing mother, someone would notice he was awake and give him her message. Either way, she'd finally be able to make sure for herself that Ned was okay.

He walked out of the bathroom, making clear eye contact with her, before turning away and dropping back on his bed. It was only at that moment that the reality of the situation came crashing down upon her.

After this accident, everything was going to change. Everything was already changing.

Tears began to fall rapidly as she finally began to feel the impact of this tragic blow. Life as she knew it would never be the same again.

--

When Jennifer Moseley walked into school Monday morning, she may as well have been wearing a sign that said "Leprosy, stay away." Casual friends didn't rush to great her as they normally did, even strangers kept a further distance.

She rushed, for the first time all year, to Biology just to escape the stares and whispers in the hallway. What was the big deal? Why was she being avoided? Had everyone lost their mind? Did they think that talking to her may put her on a death list or something?

She was disappointed, but not surprised, to see Ned's seat empty. She hadn't been able to get through to him all weekend, and when she had come back upstairs from dinner Saturday night, his curtains had been drawn as a barrier between the two of them. She worriedly wondered what he was thinking, what he was feeling. Was he beating himself up over the accident? Was he still in pain? Was he just grieving? More than anything, she wanted to talk to him.

As she sat lost in her own reflections, the rest of the class filtered in and the intercom buzzed for the morning announcements. True to fashion, Moze noted, they got straight to the point.

"We are sorry to inform you of the loss of one of our students. Simon Nelson-Cook, a 9th grader, was killed in an automobile accident this past weekend. Funeral services will be held tomorrow morning at 10 a.m., and attendance is an approved school absence. If anyone needs help coping with this loss, guidance counselors will be available in the library for today, tomorrow, and Wednesday. Please keep his family and friends in your thoughts as they go through this difficult time."

Moze exhaled after the announcement was over, only then realizing that she had been holding her breath. In the seat next to her, a fellow classmate shot her a sympathetic look. All in all, the formality of this…this…_grieving_ process was making her feel sick. She needed some air, she needed someone to talk to, she needed her boyfriend, she needed her best friends back. Her heart began to race as she struggled to take in a deep breath, unable to calm herself down.

Before she knew what was happening, someone was leading her into the hallway, instructing her to take deep breaths before navigating her into a nearby chair, instructing her to sit as they pushed her head between her knees. Silver and black dots danced before her eyes as visions of Cookie and Ned, Cookie and Lisa, the party, Suzie and Josh, Morgan, the group of them arguing as she was about to leave the party, and finally the voice of her mother as she told her the news played on repeat and fast forward in her head.

"Jennifer, breathe, take a deep breath and try to relax."

The voice was soothing, but she couldn't cooperate. She had to get away from this place, she had to get fresh air, she had to see Ned, she had to find some sort of way to rewind time and bring Cookie back.

After a few moments, she stopped struggling against the hand on her back and she allowed herself to breathe, forcing her mind to stop and focus on the present. The hallway of the science building was not the right place to fall apart; she had plenty of time to do that at home. All she had to do was calm down and compose herself long enough to call her Mom and get out of this place. Once she was at home, she could react however she wanted to.

"Are you feeling better now?"

Moze looked up to see her most despised teacher, Mrs. Hargrove, staring down at her with a look of extreme concern.

"Uh, I'm better…thanks." Moze replied quietly, "It's just…."

"Overwhelming?"

Moze nodded, "I…I don't have anyone to talk to about the accident. My boyfriend…Ned…he won't talk to me, Cookie was our best friend, I just don't know what we're going to do now…now that he's…you know…I don't know what's going on anymore, I feel like everything's falling apart. I don't know what to do."

"You know, when I was your age I lost a friend. He had a heart condition that I didn't know about…we walked home together on Thursday, and on Friday I found out he had died. Losing someone you care about is very, very hard, and what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Why don't you go down to the library and talk to one of the counselors. If you don't feel better after that, go ahead and call your parents to come pick you up. You may not have been in the car with your friends, but you certainly need to recover from the ordeal as well."

Moze nodded, running her fingers through her hair as she studied Mrs. Hargrove. For someone who was hated by most of her students, she really did seem to care. With a soft smile, she whispered, "Thanks."

"That's what I'm here for," The teacher replied. "I'd also think about stopped in to talk to Ned sometime today. I can guarantee he's feeling the exact same things you are, even if he's too nervous to talk about it."

With a grateful smile, Moze walked away from the classroom, fully intending to go to the library and talk with a counselor. However, when she got halfway between the science building and the main building, she noticed Lisa Zemo sitting in the grass, her back against the brick wall, a wad of crumpled tissue in her hand.

"Hey Lisa," Moze said softly, "Can I sit too?"

Lisa waved her arm in acknowledgement, dabbing at her eyes once more, her mascara now in streaks across her pale face, "I can't believe this is happening."

"Me either." Moze agreed, sitting next to Lisa and pulling her knees to her chest, "It almost doesn't feel real, but at the same time, it hurts so bad that I know it has to be real…"

"I keep going over everything we did Friday night, trying to find the point where we really screwed up." Lisa admitted her voice slightly nasal from crying, "Was it the drinking? That was our first stupid mistake. Was it riding with Morgan? That definitely wasn't the right choice to make. So many things raised giant red flags that night, but I was so determined to have a good time, to fit in with the older kids, that I completely disregarded all common sense."

Moze shook her head, "There were a hundred kids Friday night who did the same things as you and Cookie did…probably worse than you did it….and they're all okay now. It's me. If I hadn't snuck out to go to that stupid party, I wouldn't have had to be home by a certain time and you guys would have still been having fun when the accident happened."

"It's not your fault either." Lisa said quietly, "You didn't make us get in a car with Morgan; we chose that on our own. Ned, Cookie, and I all acknowledged at some point that it wasn't a great idea, but with our inhibitions lowered, it didn't seem that important. I don't think I'll ever drink again, I don't care who would be impressed by it."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Lisa asked, "How's Ned?"

Moze shrugged in response, sighing heavily. For the rest of first period, the two sat side by side, not needing to talk to express their shared feelings and emotions. As the bell rang for second period, Moze stood, extending her hand, "We shouldn't be here today."

"No," Lisa replied softly, her voice cracking slightly, "We shouldn't. I don't know what I was thinking, coming to school like everything was okay when it's so far from it."

Moze put her arm around Lisa, "The same thing I was thinking…going back to a normal routine would make things hurt less. I know now that it doesn't." She stopped walking, turning her head to glance at Lisa, "Do you want to cut the rest of today and come over to my house?"

"That sounds like a good idea." Lisa replied softly, "A really good idea."

--

Ned laid on his bed, staring at his ceiling while trying to count the dots that hung from above. He knew it was pointless, he'd never be able to do it, but at least it was something that could keep his mind off of everything that was going on.

No one his age should ever have to deal with this much stress. But how could he not stress out? It was his fault that his best friend was _dead_ and his ex-girlfriend was _nearly _dead. He knew he had done some pretty stupid and thoughtless things over his lifetime, but this definitely took the cake.

How was it his fault? Well, that was easy, he had been replaying his mistakes throughout his head since he found out about Cookie and Suzie. In preschool, there had been a reward chart for good behavior, and the teacher would always take away a laminated star from the chart if they made "poor decisions". If the same system were in place today, he would owe the teacher a billion gold stars.

The bad choices all started the night of the party. If he hadn't wanted to go to Suzie's party so bad, he would have been perfectly content to stay home with Moze and watch a video in the safety of his home. Without Ned to practically pull the group out of the door at 10:35, Cookie would have been safe inside of Suzie's house and the accident wouldn't have occurred. Next, after Ned decided to go to the party, he could have found another mode of transportation. Instead, he exploited his friendship with Cookie and finagled a ride from Morgan, who was already in the neighborhood to pick up Cookie. Again, if he hadn't used Morgan as a source of transportation, they would have all been safely inside of Suzie's house and the accident wouldn't have occurred.

If he had been as good of a friend as he often claimed to be, he would have stopped Cookie and Lisa, as well as Morgan, from drinking, especially since they were underage and would be driving home. Cookie and Lisa weren't the type to drink anyway, and if he would have equalized the peer pressure not to drink with the peer pressure to drink, he might have been able to change their minds.

Then there was the whole Moze thing. If he had listened to her and walked her home, Cookie, Lisa, and Morgan would have been at the party when the accident would have occurred. Without having to think too hard, he was able to come up with at least four ways that the accident was his fault. He was certain that if he put his mind to it, he could come up with a dozen more.

And what did his stupidity earn him? An invitation to Cookie's funeral and the guilt that he was certain would never, ever fade away. How do you get over killing your best friend?

He wanted to run next door to Moze's house and sob into her shoulder, telling her how much he hated himself for what he had done, but every time he tried to even look into her window, he chickened out. She had warned him of the dangers, but he had refused to listen. She probably blamed him just as much as he blamed himself.

He inched towards the window, pulling back a tiny corner of the heavy dark curtain, and looked at the house next door. Moze would be at school right now, her parents gone. The next opportunity he would have to talk to her would be later this afternoon, if he could manage to muster up the courage then. He wasn't sure he'd even be able to now, despite how much he wanted to see her.

He heard his mother ascend the stairs, and he quickly laid back down, closing his eyes while trying to even his breathing. He wasn't in the mood to talk, he didn't want to hear her words of sympathy or pity, he wanted to be alone. He was a murderer, a murderer who didn't deserve sympathy, who didn't deserve special treats served in an effort to cheer him up.

His door creaked open and his mother moved to stand over him, her tone soft and concerned, "I know you're awake Ned. It's okay that you don't want to talk to me, but you've got to come out of your room sometime. Your father and I are worried about you."

Ned refused to give up his charade, and after a few moments his mother gave up, walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her. Ned pushed himself back into a sitting position, a deep frown crossing his face. Would they really feel the same way if they knew that their son had put the final nail in Cookie's coffin by dragging him into a dangerous situation? Would anyone ever be able to look at him the same again?

The doorbell rang and Ned moved to the window, peeking out to see who was down below. To his surprise, he saw Lisa and Moze, both looking worn and slightly apprehensive. Lisa wore a plain black dress, while Moze looked absolutely stunning in black slacks and a white top with a black hoodie. Even in her simplest of outfits, she always looked like a goddess to him.

He slowly opened his door and crept into the hallway, listening as his mother opened the door.

"Lisa, Moze, I didn't expect to see you here."

"We're sorry to disturb you," Lisa said quietly, "We were hoping we could see Ned?"

"I'm sorry girls, but Ned's not taking any visitors right now, I'll-"

"You'll let him know we came by." Moze finished dejectedly, "Okay. Thanks Mrs. Bigby."

As both girls turned to leave, Ned wanted nothing more than to run downstairs in his pajamas, throw his arms around them both and beg them to stay, beg them to tell him he was crazy for feeling like he was, to have some sort of interaction with not only the love of his life, but the people who knew and loved Cookie as much as he had. Before he could coax his feet into moving, though, they were gone, and his mother was staring at him from the foot of the stairs.

"You can't hide forever."

Without responding, Ned turned and walked back into his room, his door clicking shut behind him.

_TBC _


	7. Confrontations

_A/N: I was surprised and pleased by the number of responses I got for the last chapter. I know it's getting pretty heavy, but it won't stay that way…it's all part of the process. Thank you to everyone who is reading, and a special thanks to all who review. I'm not quite sure how this chapter turned out...I wasn't thrilled with it, but the more I tried to fix it, the worse it got, so I decided to just let it be. Next week is shaping up to be a bit busier with school work, but I'm going to try to have another update by mid-week if I see there's enough interest._

_Jenny_

**Chapter Seven: Confrontations**

Moze sat at her desk, barely able to resist the urge to look out of her bedroom window and stare at Ned's. Tapping her pencil against the corner of her desk, she sighed heavily, shutting her advanced geometry book with a loud thud. She hadn't been able to concentrate all week on anything, especially her schoolwork. Tuesday had been Cookie's funeral, and if the occasion wasn't depressing enough, she had been even more disinherited to find out Ned "didn't feel up to" attending. The day had been hard enough without having to go through it alone. She had spent Tuesday afternoon calling Ned, throwing rocks at his window, and finally just staring intently at the darkened room, hoping that maybe she'd be able to communicate telepathically with him and snap him out of his self-induced prison sentence.

Now, it was Friday and she wasn't quite sure whether she was happy that the week was finally over, or disappointed that it had been an entire week since she had made contact with her boyfriend. She knew he had to be feeling just as rotten as she felt about the entire situation, but she just couldn't understand why he wouldn't talk to her. Did he not trust her? Was he embarrassed? Was he mad at her for something? Did he blame her?

Tears welled in her eyes as she slammed her book into her backpack, her heart beating wildly with repressed emotion. She couldn't think about this now, she had to get to school and pretend that she was dealing with everything, otherwise she'd lose her 'tough girl' reputation and perhaps unleash floodgates that may not be able to be rebuilt as easy as she hoped they would. If she could make it through this one day, 7 hours, she'd be able to come home and lock herself away in her bedroom to cry for the entire weekend.

"Jennifer, I'm leaving for work! Don't forget to lock up when you leave, and don't be late!"

Moze sighed heavily, slinging her backpack over her shoulder as she walked to her mirror, frowning slightly. She looked nearly as bad as she felt, although she didn't have the energy or desire to make any effort to change her appearance. With another sigh, she walked to her bedroom window, kissing her fingers softly and bringing them to the glass. She needed to see Ned, to talk to him. They had never spent this much time apart in their entire lives, and the distance was already putting a strain on her life. They didn't even have to talk about what was going on, she just needed to be near him, to know that he still needed her just as much as she needed him.

She was about to turn away when his curtains opened, his mother's face coming into her line of vision. Their eyes met and they exchanged a weak half-smile before Mrs. Bigby continued in what appeared to be a severe lecture to her son. Staring at the action unfolding next door, Moze felt torn. If she didn't leave now, she'd be late for school, but if she stayed, she may get a glimpse at Ned. When did she become such a…girl? As she had grown older, she had disregarded many of her tomboy ways, but she never thought she'd be someone to be so dependent on a guy. Of course, Ned wasn't just a guy; he was also her best friend, the only person on Earth that understood how she felt and what she was going through. The more distant he withdrew, the more Moze's heart began to ache with the worry that maybe she had lost two friends in the accident.

She glanced out of the window once more, wincing as Ned's Mom started waving her hands, obviously growing angrier with her son. She wished she could do something to intervene; while Ned's mom was normally very sweet tempered, once she was angered, she could be worse than a caged wild animal. Drawn to the argument, she continued to watch the altercation until Mrs. Bigby stormed from the room, slamming the door so hard behind her that Ned's curtains swayed from the force.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but the constant ache in her chest grew exponentially as she realized Ned wasn't going to appear in front of the window. Fighting tears for the second time in less than an hour, Moze turned from her window and fled downstairs. She didn't have time to obsess over Ned, she had a bus to catch and a charade of normalcy to keep up. As her bedroom door shut behind her, she missed the deep blue eyes that peered upon her fleeing form.

--

"Ned Bigby, you need to get out of bed right now and get ready for school, do you understand me?"

Ned lazily opened his eyes, wincing as his mother threw open his curtains, allowing the bright sunlight he had been avoiding all week to cascade into his room.

"Up, Ned, up!"

He brought his arm to his head, effectively shielding his eyes, "I'm not going to school today."

"Yes you are. Now get your butt out of bed and get dressed or you'll be going in boxer shorts and t-shirt."

He knew better than to argue with his mother, especially when she was in dictator-form, but he couldn't summon up enough energy to care. He hadn't gotten out of bed except to use the bathroom and occasionally eat all week, and he didn't plan on resuming his normal life today. How could she expect him to go to school, where everyone would look at him and just know that he was a murderer, someone who was so selfish that he killed his own best friend? How could he face Moze, who he's avoided all week, or explain to Lisa that he missed the funeral because he couldn't stand himself for not only taking Cookie away, but effectively breaking her heart in the process? He couldn't imagine how he'd feel if Moze died, but he did know he wouldn't want to have anything to do with the responsible party, except maybe to start a fight and put a few dents into that person's face. Lisa had been there, she knew the accident was Ned's fault, and the thought of seeing her was enough to make his skin crawl and his heart race. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to look her in the eye again.

Sure, it may seem like he was a coward, but he couldn't face the idea of having to repair all of the damages he had made. Of course, some of them weren't reparable, nothing would bring Cookie back, and he had no idea of how to revive Suzie from her coma. The only thing he could do was express to Lisa how sorry he was that he took away her boyfriend, to Moze, her best friend. He knew that they would hate him, he hated himself. After all, he had spent the better part of the week berating himself over his stupidity.

"I'm not going to take this behavior out of you for another minute, Ned Bigby." His mother ranted loudly, pausing before her voice softened a bit, "I know you're upset, and honey, your father and I have done everything we can to help you through this, but you need to take the first steps on your own. Get up, get dressed, and get out of that door before the bus passes."

He was about to respond in a way that would guarantee him a month's worth of extra chores and double that of weekends confined to the house, but before he could form the words, she had walked out, slamming the door behind her.

He almost rolled over and went back to sleep, but decided that he wasn't in the mood to face the wrath of his mother this early in the morning. Instead, he lazily got up, deciding that his time had run out, it was time to face the music, own up to what he had done and accept the consequences. After all, after Moze and Lisa told him off and openly blamed him, there wasn't much more they could do to him. Maybe it was like a band-aid, needing to be ripped off quickly to lessen the sting…of course, maybe it was like facing the firing squad. Regardless, he was about to find out.

He ran his fingers through his hair, walking to the window and staring into Moze's room only to see her disappearing out of sight, the door shutting behind her. He had refused her calls and visits all week, afraid of what she was going to say, afraid that he was about to lose her forever. He missed her so much, but the idea of losing her forever was almost too much to handle.

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the battle that lie ahead. This would most likely be the hardest day of his life.

--

Moze looked up with a soft gasp as Ned slid into the desk next to her as the tardy bell rang for first period. She waited expectantly for him to turn and talk to her like he always did, but was instead disappointed as he stared straight at the board, his posture rigid, his breathing rapid. She had never seen him so nervous and tense, and she wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch his arm, to provide him with some sort of reassurance that he was going to be okay.

Instead, she took the moment to silently study him, from the paleness of his face to the obvious weight he had lost over the last week. His jaw was clenched tight, and he looked as if he were ready to bolt out of the classroom at a second's notice. She had been concerned about him when he started avoiding her, but now she was downright worried. She could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Ned this stoic and lifeless, and in light of everything that was going on right now, she was scared for him. She had thought she wasn't handling things well, but one look at her boyfriend told her that she was handling it better than he was.

Taking a deep breath, she decided to go ahead and chance the strength of their relationship. The worst he could do was tell her to back off, right? Maybe he felt just as nervous about seeing her again as she felt. Maybe he was ashamed at how he had behaved over the last few days and wasn't sure how she'd react to his conversation. Maybe he was just unsure of how to begin a conversation after pushing her away so strongly.

She reached out, placing her hand on his arm, "Hey."

"Hey." Ned replied nervously, his breath coming a little quicker as he pulled his arm away, "Uh…um…hey."

"How are you feeling?" Moze said softly, trying to start a conversation, seeing how Ned was struggling to come up with something to say. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was scared of her, "You look a lot better than you did last weekend."

Ned shrugged, his hands shaking slightly as he replied, "I'm fine. And you?"

"Coping." Moze replied quietly, "Look, I know we've-"

"Miss Mosley, Mr. Bigby, I'd appreciate it if you would focus your attention to my lecture, if that wouldn't interfere with your private socialization."

Ned looked up sharply at Mrs. Hargrove while Moze quietly apologized. She sighed, groaning inwardly as Ned appeared to become 100 focused on the lecture. Maybe she'd get the chance to talk to him after class…after all, they did spend most of their school day together.

She watched him for awhile, tuning out the cell division lecture while studying Ned's facial expressions and intentness. She knew Ned wasn't one to hold on to every word of a lecture, although the stony expression on his face did indicate that he was intently following every step of mitosis.

Occasionally, though, she caught a flicker of barely concealed emotion flash through his eyes, and her heart began to ache for him. It was clear he wasn't dealing with things as well as he pretended to be, and more than anything she wished that he would just open up to her and talk about it. Maybe, between the two of them, they could come up with some sort of closure. As his hand slightly twitched, another flash of emotion darkening in his eyes, she made up her mind…they were going to discuss this, today, whether he wanted to or not.

--

Ned chose an empty table to sit at during lunch, blatantly ignoring Moze's signal to join her. As he stared at the spaghetti on his plate, he realized that this was the first day he had eaten lunch alone at school, ever. He had always sat by Cookie and Moze in elementary school and then in middle school several others usually joined them. In high school, he always sat next to Moze, Cookie and Lisa across from them. It was tradition. It was the way things were meant to be. It was over.

He glanced back at Moze, who was now staring down at her plate with a tearful expression on her normally bright face. He hated that he caused her so much pain, but he didn't deserve to sit by her. He didn't deserve her attention. He didn't deserve her love. He was a murderer, he had taken away their best friend and he deserved to be banished from the crowd.

As the days since the accident had dragged on, he became more convinced that he was the one who had deserved to die, not Cookie. He had done plenty of dangerous, stupid, mischievous things in his life. Cookie? He wouldn't hurt a fly. If anyone deserved this fate, it was Ned. He bit his lip, looking away quickly when he noticed Moze staring back at him. He had to distance himself from her; he didn't deserve to be happy anymore. Friend-killers didn't deserve girls like Moze.

"Hi Ned!" Martin said brightly, sitting across from the depressed brunette, "I was wondering when you'd come back to school, I hadn't seen you all week. How are you feeling? It was so strange to hear about the accident, I mean, who would have thought that you and Cookie and Lisa would have been drinking at a party? It's so unlike you. I guess you did learn a lesson about drinking and driving though. How are you holding up? I know it must be hard to lose your best friend, after all, we were just school friends and I miss Cookie a lot-"

"Martin, I really want to be alone." Ned interjected, his heart racing as blood pumped loudly through his ears. He couldn't handle this kind of conversation right now; he couldn't think about Cookie, he couldn't think about the party. He had been thinking about the accident all day, every day, for a week now, and he was getting to the point where the mention of the topic was enough to drive him insane. What if he started asking questions? What if Ned was forced to admit that he had been the reason they had been driving, the reason Cookie was dead?

"It's not good to be alone after a tragedy; the best way to deal with it is to talk to people so you can move on. Have you thought about seeing a therapist or something? You know, you and Moze both look pretty bad, are you two getting along? You're so lucky that you have someone you can talk to during a time like this, most people-"

"Martin, I'm serious, I don't want to talk about this with you." Ned insisted, anger bubbling in his chest. Why couldn't he just let it drop? Wasn't it obvious that the last thing Ned wanted to do was talk about how he killed his best friend? Why couldn't he talk about something less stressful, like, the weather?

"Most people find that having someone they're close to listen to their problems helps with the healing process. What was the accident like? I've never been in an accident before, but I bet it's pretty scary. I have a cousin who was in a 5 car pileup a few years ago, she said it was one of the scariest experiences of her life. I guess it happens to everyone eventually, huh? I mean, car accidents are-"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Ned shouted harshly, pushing his tray away and grabbing his backpack, tears stinging his eyes, "Can't you just go two minutes without talking? What is your problem!? Just leave me alone!"

Ned slammed his chair against the table as he stormed out of the cafeteria, ignoring the stares of his classmates as he fled past them. The look on Martin's face would probably haunt him for the rest of his life, was it not enough that Cookie was gone, but now he had to run off the only friends he had left? As much as he was sorry for making a scene, he couldn't stop his heart from racing, anger flowing like fire through his veins. He should have stayed home, he wasn't ready to deal with this. He had to get out of here.

He stopped at his locker, shoving his backpack in and slamming the door shut, before ramming his fist into it. He had to admit, the physical pain felt a lot better than emotional pain, and he could always deal with bloody knuckles. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to efficiently handle the guilt of the previous weekend. Tears stinging his eyes, he gave his locker one more punch before turning and walking out of the building. Things couldn't really get worse. If he got caught leaving school grounds, he'd be suspended, which would only benefit his desire to stay home. If he wasn't seen, he'd get the afternoon away from this school, his classmates, the questions and stares that he had been putting up with all morning.

Without a second look back, he calmly walked out the main gate, onto the sidewalk. Maybe Monday he'd be able to deal with this, and if not, he still had two and a half days to come up with another excuse to stay home.

--

She was stunned. No, not stunned, horrified to see the actions that took place during lunch. Moze had seen Ned lose his temper a few times, but never did he behave this…barbarically. After Ned had stormed out, Martin sat in silence, his mouth still open, a look of complete shock on his face. It wasn't necessarily what Ned had said, as much as the tone he had said it in. If he had used that same tone with her, she wouldn't have had as much restraint as Martin; she would have pulled back and socked him in the face.

Pushing her lunch aside, she had immediately risen after the door shut behind her, giving Martin an apologetic smile from across the room as she hurried after her boyfriend. She followed him unnoticed into the hallway, where he angrily crammed his backpack into his locker, slamming it shut before ramming his fist into it a few times. She knew him well enough to know that the anger was dissipating and he was now fighting to control his raging emotions.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice her following him, and as he stormed off campus, she couldn't help but feel a pang of fear that they'd be caught. Sure, she and Lisa had done the same thing Monday, but at that point, teachers were being lenient on them due to the circumstances. Now, though, enough time had passed to where the incident was still fresh in everyone's minds, but the rules were back to normal. If someone saw them leaving, they would be suspended and her mother may in fact kill her. Deciding that Ned was worth any punishment she'd receive, she continued to follow him, remaining a few steps behind him, but not hiding her presence.

They had walked nearly a mile before she decided to end this charade. She knew that he knew she was following him, although he continued to ignore her presence. She quickened her pace to close the gap, falling in step with him as they continued their trek towards their neighborhood. Neither spoke for a few minutes, the tension building slightly with every street they crossed.

As they neared their street, Moze stopped, grabbing Ned by the arm, "It's obvious you don't want to talk to me, but I'm through being pushed away. We _are _going to talk about this, right here, right now."

_TBC_


	8. Tension

_A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, hope you enjoy!_

_Jenny_

**Chapter Eight: Tension**

Moze studied Ned's face intently, looking for some sort of sign that he understood that she wasn't going to back down. She had been pushed aside for a week, ignored and neglected, and it was going to stop right here and right now.

Intense pain was visible in his deep blue eyes as his gaze finally met her own, and as they began to glisten with unshed tears, she felt a pang of remorse for pushing him so hard. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about it, maybe he just needed some time alone to deal with his emotions before he could focus on other things, such as her and their relationship.

She put her arm around him, speaking in a gentler tone, and deciding to just be honest, "I know it hurts to talk about what happened." She took a deep breath, trying to control her own emotions before continuing, "But Ned, we have to stick together. It's been so hard to go through the last week alone, I don't know why you're pushing me away."

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you," Ned said softly, his voice strained, "I just...you don't understand."

"Then make me understand." Moze said firmly, yet quietly, "We've been friends our whole lives, you can talk to me about anything, don't you know that by now?"

Ned shook his head with a deep sigh, "It's not as easy as that, Moze."

He began to walk again, and she tried to fight her own irritation as she kept pace with him, "It's only hard because you're making it hard. If we could deal with this together, it would make it easier on both of us. By pulling away, you're making it harder on not only me, but yourself as well. Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to be pushed aside by my best friend? I feel like when Cookie died, I lost you too."

Ned abruptly stopped walking, turning to face Moze with anger flashing in his eyes, "You? You think this is hard on you? Why don't you try living with the fact that you killed your best friend, and see how that feels? You have no idea what I'm going through and how I feel, so don't try and tell me what would make me feel better. Every minute since the accident occurred, every second, I've wished I had died instead of Cookie. It's killing me to know that if I hadn't been so stupid, so selfish, he'd still be alive. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't function...so don't tell me you know how I feel and that you can help, and don't expect me to be able to help you!"

He took a deep breath, his heart beating wildly in his chest, blood pumping quickly through his veins, causing him to feel slightly woozy. He couldn't believe he had just said that, no, shouted that at her in front of the entire neighborhood. He hadn't planned on saying that to anyone, _especially_ Moze. She didn't need to know how crazy he was, no one did. One look at the sheer anguish and fear on her face was enough to confirm that he had voiced his thoughts, and she had heard them loud and clear. He felt dizzy as his hands began to shake. There was no way he was going to talk about this, he had said enough already. His breathing shallow and rapid, he turned and ran down the rest of the sidewalk, up to his house.

He could hear Moze yelling after him to stop, but he couldn't go back and face her now. He let himself into his house, closing the door behind him and sinking to the ground, sobs shaking his entire body as the dam of emotion he had been controlling all week finally broke, flooding his mind and consuming his entire body. Behind him, Moze banged on the door, begging him to let her in, to talk to him, but he couldn't move from his spot even if he had to. He knew he was hurting her, but he was unable to stop himself. He didn't deserve her attention, he didn't deserve her concern, he didn't deserve _her_.

After a while, Moze's voice quieted, as did her knocking, and Ned was left alone with his inner demons once more.

--

Moze dejectedly walked into her bedroom, not even bothering to shut her door or kick off her shoes before falling onto her bed, tears pooling in her brown eyes. She had never seen Ned act like this before, and the fire and panic in his eyes had been enough to scare her, if the words he had shouted hadn't done the job first.

More than anything, she wanted to help him. She wanted to put her arms around him and let him cry while she told him that it was pointless to blame himself. Playing the blame game was dangerous under normal circumstances, but when emotions were running this high, it wasn't smart nor accurate to try to decide what could have been done differently. After all, anyone involved could come up with dozens of ways things could have changed, things that could have been done differently, choices that should have been thought of harder. Did that make any of them responsible?

She and Lisa had spent hours on that first day back at school talking about the reasons for the accident, and the only logical one they couldn't refute was that Morgan was drinking and driving. The choice to drive had been Morgan's, and the choice to ride had been Cookie, Lisa, and Ned's. Was it unfair that Cookie was killed while Lisa and Ned had just been banged up? Yes, but ultimately it had been his choice to go along for the ride. To place blame anywhere else would be futile, because no one had forced him to do anything. Sure, it hurt to think of it in those terms, but it had definitely saved Moze from a week of worrying that it had been her fault, because she had stormed off alone. She was fairly certain that if she had been berating and second guessing herself all week, she'd be falling apart too.

The thing about Ned's avoidance that bothered her the most, though, was that he was reluctant to talk to her about it. Since they were kids, nothing was a taboo subject between them, whether it be about boys, girls or underwear. They had always been very close, and to think that he didn't feel comfortable talking to her about something that was so close to _both_ of them made her feel almost inferior to him. Why couldn't he open up to her? Why couldn't he trust her? Did he secretly blame her? Why was he acting so un-Nedlike?

And then there was the most terrifying idea of all...what if he avoided her forever? What if they were now on the path of breaking up and losing the friendship they had shared for their entire lives? What if she had now lost both of her best friends? What would she do?

Rolling over onto her stomach, Moze buried her head into her pillow and began to cry, finally unleashing the anguish she had been struggling to hide all week and eventually falling asleep, exhausted by the day's events.

Several hours later she awoke to the sound of her parents arriving home, her head aching terribly from her crying spell and her heart still broken over Ned's rejection and the loss of her two best friends.

"Jennifer, we picked up dinner." Her mom called from the bottom of the stairs, "Come and get it while it's hot!"

Moze sighed, pulling the pillow over her head. She was too stressed out to eat, too tired both emotionally and physically to even get out of bed and go downstairs. Why couldn't she lie in bed just a little longer and mull over the recent developments in this dramatic spurt of her normally mundane life? And if she didn't go down, would someone come looking for her? If her mother found her lying in bed with her face splotchy from tears, she'd be fussing over her all weekend.

"Jennifer!"

With a groan, Moze kicked off her shoes, deciding to take the easy route. Grabbing the novel from her bedside table, she flicked it open, laying it on the bed before rolling back onto her stomach, closing her eyes in hopes that her mother would believe she was asleep.

"Sweetheart, dinner's ready."

She heard her father's voice in the hallway, and had to resist the urge to breathe a sigh of relief. He always thought she was overexerting herself, he'd probably be glad she was catching up on much needed sleep. With any luck, he'd tell her mom not to disturb her for the rest of the evening, and then she'd have the entire night alone to think about the shambles her life was currently in.

Sure enough, a few seconds later her door was creaking closed and her father's voice could be heard in the hallway, "She's asleep, let's let her rest, she's been through a lot recently."

She opened her eyes, mulling over her dad's words….she definitely had been through a lot, and she had a feeling the problems weren't quite over yet. She had to come up with a way to get through to Ned, a way to try to reassemble the pieces of her life before she started to get as disassociated as Ned was. At this point in her life, she wasn't sure if she could get through this ordeal alone, and the only person she wanted to talk to _was_ Ned. After all, he was the only person who could feel the same sense of loss as she did. Cookie was _their_ best friend…in order to move forward, they needed to present a united front.

With her parents downstairs, Moze sat up and stretched, grimacing as her body creaked unmercifully. Stress was not doing her body good. Grabbing her journal, she decided to occupy her favorite spot, her bedroom window, and do some not-so-discreet spying on her boyfriend while she recorded the events of the day.

The first thing she noticed when she finally made herself comfortable was that Ned was anxiously pacing his bedroom, looking frazzled. Her immediate response was concern, after all, she hadn't totally experienced the same whirlwind of emotions as Ned had, and she was still exhausted from her own meltdown. How could he have so much energy?

He briefly met her gaze as he passed in front of his window, offering only a slight sad smile before resuming his pacing, muttering something to himself. If there was any point in her life that Moze wished she could read lips, it was now.

Journal abandoned, she couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking, what he was freaking out about. His posture was tense, his hands clenched as he repeatedly whispered to himself, stopping only occasionally to kick something or to punch his pillow. It was like she was watching a caged animal, someone completely different from the inconsolable boy who had ran off from her earlier, his proverbial tail between his legs after his outburst. What could have happened to cause this mood shift?

He made a few more laps around the room before Moze couldn't contain her curiosity any longer. Grabbing the phone, she dialed his familiar number, scowling when he didn't make a move to answer. Instead, she got his mother, who sounded just about as stressed as Ned looked.

"Can I please speak to Ned?" Moze asked softly, nervous not only by Mrs. Bigby's short tone, but also because she was worried what Ned would say once he picked up the phone. He had made it all too clear that he wanted nothing to do with her…of course, that never stopped her before.

"_Ned isn't allowed to have phone calls this weekend, I'm sorry dear…I know how hard his moodiness has been on you…but he needs to learn that he is still obligated to follow my rules."_

Moze sighed disappointedly, "Yes mam, I understand. Can you tell him I called and that I just wanted to check up on him?"

"_Of course dear." _

Moze hung up, her heart heavy as her eyes welled with tears again. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. She wasn't going to start crying again, she didn't think she'd be able to stop once she started. She had never felt so helpless in her entire life. She held her breath as Ned's door opened and his mother entered with one of the angriest expressions Moze had ever seen her wear.

With baited breath, she watched as Ned and his mother shouted at each other, arms waving wildly in the air as Ned clearly disagreed with something she was forcing upon him. Moze could only stare into the window, drawn in by this argument. It wasn't often that Ned opposed his mother, and never to this extreme. He had always been very respectful of his parents, occasionally resorting to whining and complaining when he thought they were being unreasonable, but never this angry and volatile.

After a few minutes of heated arguing, she stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Ned paced for a few moments before walking to the window, siding open the glass and leaning out slightly, "That woman is insane."

For the first time in a week, Ned seemed almost normal. Here he was, talking to her as if nothing had happened, as if she mattered, as if they were friends. She smiled softly, "I think it's a parent thing. What's going on?"

Ned's gaze darkened slightly, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he drew in a shaky breath, "She found out I didn't go to class this afternoon, she's…not happy."

"Very not happy." Moze agreed, "I mean, she has to understand how hard this is for you, have you tried talking to her about it?"

Ned laughed, although he barely sounded like himself. With a sour look and dark eyes, he spat angrily, "Oh please, she still thinks the problems of the world can be solved with a hug and a mug of hot chocolate. She's the last person I'd talk to about this."

Moze was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. The old Ned she had recognized for a few moments was now gone, replaced with this bitter, cynical Ned that she had seen earlier today in school and on the way home. Tears stung her eyes again as she wondered if this was the Ned she was going to be left with, dry and hurtful.

"Hey, are you okay?"

His suddenly soft voice broke her from her thoughts, and once again she found herself dealing with the Ned she had grown to love. His face had softened a bit, and he looked at her with an expression of deep concern.

Wiping tears from her eyes, she nodded, "Yeah, I will be."

From inside Ned's house, his mother could be heard calling him downstairs for dinner. At the sound of his mom's voice, Ned's expression grew dark once more, and while holding up his index finger to Moze, he turned and yelled, "I'm not hungry!"

"I don't care!" Came his mother's faint response, "Get down here anyway!"

Ned scowled, turning back to Moze, "Want to trade parents?"

"While your mom is in that mood? No way." Moze said softly, wishing she could jump from her window to his and kiss his pain away. Even though their relationship hadn't gone much farther than kissing, she missed the physical contact between the two of them.

He flashed her a smile, and for a few moments, everything seemed okay. Then, as soon as it had appeared, it vanished, and the new sour Ned turned and stormed down the stairs, slamming his bedroom door so hard behind him that several books fell from the bookshelf in his wake.

Though upset that he seemed to be flickering back and forth between the old sociable, loveable Ned and the new bitter Ned, Moze couldn't help feel reassured that the old Ned was still making appearances. If he wasn't hateful and cold all of the time, there was still a chance she could break through and release the Ned she knew and loved.

By the time Ned returned to his bedroom, Moze had finished writing in her journal and was once again reading her novel for English class. She jumped as his slammed behind him, her attention immediately turning to his bedroom, wondering what was going on.

--

"We won't tolerate this behavior from you, we haven't in the past, and we certainly won't start now."

Ned rolled his eyes, pushing the peas on his plate around with his fork, his stomach doing somersaults as his parents both lashed out at him. He knew that he should feel guilty and remorseful for skipping class and then lying about it once confronted, but he couldn't muster up the energy it would require to apologize and make amends. It was so much easier to just ignore their scolding and remain angry and hostile over the incident, especially since while he knew he did something wrong, he didn't see why it was as big of a deal as they were making it out to be.

"Ned, are you listening to me?" His mother asked, her voice growing a bit louder as her cheeks flushed with anger.

Ned looked up, realizing they had asked him something that warranted a response. He tried to remember what had been said, but his mind drew a blank. Deciding it wouldn't be in his best interest to ask her to repeat herself, and not really caring what she had to say anyway, he shrugged, putting his fork down, "May I be excused?"

"You haven't eaten anything." His mother frowned, "And don't try to change the subject."

Ned's temper flared slightly, and while he tried to keep himself in check, he couldn't stop himself from snapping, "I _told_ you that I wasn't hungry."

"And I told _you_ that you were going to eat anyway. You've hardly eaten all week, and as your mother, I'm not going to sit by and let you starve to death."

Ned opened his mouth to argue, but fell silent as his father warned, "Ned..."

With a glare towards both of his parents, Ned shoved a bite of potatoes into his mouth, trying not to gag as he forced himself to swallow. Why couldn't they see that he didn't want to sit down and be lectured, he didn't want to eat dinner, he just wanted to be left alone?

"Now can I go upstairs?"

The glare he received from his father was enough to wipe the scowl off Ned's face as he picked up his fork again, angrily jabbing at his food. After forcing down another bite, and now feeling slightly sick, he pushed his plate away, "I'm done."

"No you aren't." his father instructed, "And you can sit here until you're finished."

Ned's expression darkened and he spat out, "Stop treating me like a little kid. I said I wasn't hungry. I'm going to my room."

Despite the protest of his parents, Ned pushed back his chair, storming up to his room and slamming the door behind him, knowing fully well that his mother was right behind him. As he slammed the door, several items fell off of his bookshelf and onto the floor, one of them being a familiar photo book. He bent down to pick it up, ignoring his mother as she walked into the room, and glanced out the window to look at Moze, who was perched on her window ledge. She appeared to be absorbed in her book, but he knew she was secretly watching him. Lately that had irritated him, but at the moment, it made him feel loved and warm.

He stared down at the scrapbook in his trembling hands, running his thumb over the cover, which contained a picture of himself, Cookie, and Moze standing outside, wide smiles on their younger faces. Moze had made this for him several years back; all three of them had identical books. He had almost forgotten he owned this.

"Are you listening to me? What the hell is the matter with you?"

Ned ignored his mother's shrill yell, fixated on the book, unable to tear his eyes away from Cookie's smiling face. A face he would never see again. The book fell to the floor as he bolted into his bathroom, his sudden sickness stopping his mother's rant as she quietly made sure he was okay before giving him some privacy.

He sat on the floor for what felt like hours, sobs shaking his body once more as he tried to get the image of Cookie out of his mind. What had he done? How could someone make choices that caused their _best friend's _life to be taken away? How could he live with himself knowing that he was going to be okay and Cookie would never be?

He pulled himself to his feet on shaking legs, unwanted tears still spilling from his frantic eyes as he stumbled back into his bedroom. Upon seeing his mother sitting on his bed, Ned wanted nothing more than to hide his tears and put back the mask of anger he had been hiding behind, but as he looked at the book his mother was holding, he couldn't find the inner strength to pretend he was okay.

"Ned, honey-"

Ned shook his head wildly, running his fingers through his hair, "No, I don't want to talk."

"But Ned, you-"

"No!" Ned shouted, trying to sound angry but only succeeding in sounding desperate and deranged, "No, I can't. I..I...I need to be alone."

With that said, he turned and ran from the room, the front door slamming behind him a few moments later.

--

Moze stood up from her window seat, worry sweeping through her body as she watched Ned walk quickly out of his house and down the sidewalk. She wanted to follow him, but she knew he wanted to be alone. Instead, she turned her attention back to Ned's window, her heart aching as she watched his mother start to sob, collapsing on his bed, clearly at a loss for what to do next.

She forced herself to look away, not wanting to be rude and feeling slightly uncomfortable. She had known Mrs. Bigby for so long that it almost felt like Ned's family was her own, and she hated to see any of them in pain.

Her stomach growled and she decided to go downstairs and get something to eat...it was clear that Ned wouldn't be back for awhile and she was sure her parents wouldn't let her stay holed up in her room all night without growing concerned.

After making herself a sandwich she walked into the living room, sitting next to her dad on the sofa while her mom busied herself with straightening up the living room. One bite into her sandwich, the phone rang, and Moze quickly answered, hoping it was Ned.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Moze, is your mom busy?"_

Moze frowned, hearing the strain evident in Mrs. Bigby's voice, "No, she's right here, hold on."

She handed her Mom the phone, "It's Ned's Mom."

"Susan, hi, how are you?" Moze's mom said, taking the phone from her daughter before disappearing into the other room.

"So, Jennifer, how's life?" Her dad asked, a grin on his face, "How's my little sport doing?"

Moze shrugged, taking another bite of her sandwich, and thinking of Ned, "Things could be worse. I'm just...going with the flow, I guess."

"That's my girl." He replied, giving her a pat on the leg, "We need to do something this weekend, just you and me. We never seem to spend any time together anymore."

Moze nodded, tears stinging her eyes for some unknown reason. Maybe it was the fact that she missed spending time with her dad, maybe it was the fact that she was growing up and they both seemed to know it, or maybe it was just the emotional ringer she had been through all day, all week, "Yeah Dad, that sounds great."

Finishing her sandwich, she stood, "Do you want to go see a movie tonight?"

"Sure," he beamed, "I'd love to, let's do it."

Moze smiled, knowing that not only would the movie be a distraction from the personal hell she had been living in, but she could also spend some quality time with her dad, who always seemed to make her feel better.

"I'll go get my shoes."

--

When the phone rang at 7 am on Saturday morning, Moze answered it with the sinking feeling that it couldn't possibly be good news. As the frantic voice on the other end of the line began to talk, her worries were instantly confirmed.

"_Moze, is Ned over there? He never came home last night."_

_TBC_


	9. Reminiscing

_A/N: Thank you all who are reading and so faithfully responding. I do have to say that the thought of Ned dying never crossed my mind until someone mentioned it in a review, and I assure you, I'm not that cruel. With that said, I hope you enjoy this next installment, which is a bit of a change of pace for our two favorite characters. As always, please let me know what you think. _

_Jenny_

**Chapter Nine: Reminiscing**

Moze shivered slightly as the leaves crunched beneath her feet, the morning dew still glistening from the plants around her. She wasn't sure why, but she had a feeling he was here, buried deep within the woods at a spot they hadn't been to in years. Another shiver ran up her spine, causing her to rub her hands over her arms; she should have brought a sweater.

Their spot in the woods was a place that their parents knew of, but had forbidden them to go to after Ned and Cookie had once started a very minor fire at the age of ten, goofing off and playing with matches. They had continued to secretly meet there until they were twelve and felt like having a secret hideaway in the woods was to childish for them. While they had voiced their feelings regarding the issue, Moze knew sometimes she still had pangs to escape into the green oasis, and she'd wager that Ned and Cookie had felt the same way from time to time.

The leaves rustled around her and Moze tightened her hands into fists. While it was a harmless stretch of wooded area, going alone sometimes made her feel more than just a little nervous and uneasy. The bike path disappeared beneath her feet, and ahead she found a branch with a piece of torn red cloth. She raised an eyebrow, surprised to see their scrap was still where they had left it years ago. She knew the way by heart, she didn't need the markers they had originally set to keep themselves from getting lost, but seeing them eased her mind and quelled some of her apprehension.

She walked for a few more minutes, until she could faintly hear the sound of running water. She took a deep breath, reaching the end of the forest and preparing to walk out onto the river bank clearing. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Ned sitting on the riverbank, his knees pulled up to his chest as he stared out over the water.

"So I guess they're looking for me?"

Moze sat down beside him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder, "Your Mom's really freaking out. I had to convince her not to call the cops."

"They wouldn't do anything until I was gone for 24 hours anyway." Ned shrugged, leaning his head against her arm, "Do you remember when we were younger and we'd spend all day out here in the summer?"

Moze smiled softly, reaching out to take his hand, "Yeah…it was great. We had our little tree-house and everything…remember the time you and Cookie tried to built a raft?"

"That was a disaster," Ned chucked softly, "I never really understood why we decided to stop hanging out here, it's so peaceful…relaxing."

Moze nodded, resting her head against Ned's, finally starting to feel warm as their skin pressed against each other's, "I was thinking the same thing on my way over here."

"Did you tell anyone where you were going?"

"No. This is our place." Moze whispered, "Ned, I'm really worried about you."

He was quiet for a moment, and Moze fought to hold back tears that threatened to spill over. Had she brought it up too soon? Was he going to pull away again? Was he going to start yelling and run away again?

Shuddering slightly, he squeezed her hand, "Me too."

"I know you think it's your fault, but-"

Ned cut her off, his voice strained, "Let's not talk about that now…let's watch the water for a bit, enjoy the peace and quiet. We have all the time in the world to talk about this."

Moze nodded, snuggling closer to him as another chill passed through her. They looked out over the river in silence, communicating without words as their bodies began to do the talking. Ned removed his jacket, draping it over Moze's shoulder. In response, Moze buried her head into his shoulder, allowing him to hold her closely as her own hands wrapped around him, squeezing him gently. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her forehead, which caused her to lean her head back, silently asking for something more reassuring, more warming. Their first kiss was soft and gentle, but soon they had both fallen back into the dirt, their mouths greedily assaulting each other's, soft moans being the only communication between them.

Ned's hands roamed underneath her shirt, not going much higher than her waist, but signaling some of the first skin to skin contact they had experienced in their relationship. It wasn't until she returned the action that he stopped, his mind suddenly clearing.

"We can't do this."

"We aren't doing anything wrong." Moze replied huskily, her eyes pleading for Ned's soft hands to make contact with her skin once more, "We won't…you know…but we can do…other stuff."

Ned shook his head, mentally kicking himself. One day, probably soon, he'd regret this moment of maturity and self control, "This isn't the time or place…and when we make that step, I want it to be special, not on the ground, in the woods, at nine in the morning."

The passion in Moze's eyes slowly began to burn down, and she pushed herself into a sitting position, reluctantly agreeing. For awhile, the two stared at each other, both unsure of what their next move should be. With a silent compromise, they resumed their previous position, their heads resting against each other while their bodies tried to stay warm in the cool morning air.

Moze stared intently into the water, wondering how they had gotten to this point. The last time they were out here, Ned and Cookie were talking about ninjas and she was thinking about boys. Now she and Ned had just been nearing one of the bases and Cookie was gone. How could so much change in just a few short years? What would be different by the next time they entered their childhood sanctuary?

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she barely heard Ned speak, although his words immediately sobered her up.

"I came out here to die."

She pulled away slightly so she could meet his intense blue gaze, "What?"

"I came out here to die." He repeated, as if he was telling her that the grass was green or the sky was blue, "Last night, when I left…I really didn't see any other choice; I didn't know what else I could do."

Moze was quiet for a moment, her expression grave and serious, "Ned, there's always a solution, and not _that_ solution. Why didn't you call me? Talk to me? I know we've been…distant…but I'm always here for you."

"I know." Ned whispered, unable to meet her gaze as the burden on his chest swelled into a large lump in his throat, making it hard to breathe as he tried to form words that matched what he was thinking, what he was feeling. "I'm..I guess I'm afraid."

"Of me?" Moze asked, confused. "Just talk to me."

Ned looked down, tracing his name in the dirt as he spoke, "I didn't want you to tell me the wreck wasn't my fault."

"It's not." Moze replied automatically, before biting her lip, "Sorry."

Ned shrugged, the arm that had been holding her closely to him falling to the base of her back, "I don't think you know the details of what happened…it was my fault."

Moze fought tears as Ned began to sob once more, the pain he felt inside evident on his pale, tired face. Moze wrapped her arms tightly around him, pulling his head to her shoulder as he clung to her, desperation evident by the gasping breaths he struggled to inhale. She had never seen him so distraught, and she wouldn't deny that it terrified her. She would never get used to a boy crying, especially one that usually appeared so calm and collected. As she rocked back and forth slowly, she couldn't help but wonder if she should feel worried that he was seemingly losing it completely or relieved that he trusted her enough to confide these feelings to her.

His crying fit was short lived, and after a few moments he pulled away, his face red with embarrassment as he wiped his eyes, his voice soft, "I'm sorry."

"I've done that on more than one occasion over the last week." Moze replied quietly, "Its normal, nothing to be ashamed of. It's good that you're releasing some of your feelings, if you don't you'll eventually go insane."

Ned nodded, resting his head against her once more with a heavy sigh, "If I had listened to you, we wouldn't be here right now."

"You can say that until you're blue in the face," Moze advised softly, "And you can analyze it until you drive yourself absolutely bananas, but the truth of the matter is, it's not your fault. It's not my fault. It's not the man on the moon's fault."

"But I-"

"Morgan decided to drink and drive. Cookie decided to drink and ride. You certainly had nothing to do with that…even if you wanted Morgan to drop you off at home, Cookie didn't have to go with you. He made the choice to go with you. That's what life's all about, choices. Sometimes you make the right ones; sometimes you make the wrong ones."

Ned was quiet for a few moments, absorbing Moze's statement before looking up at her serious, darkened expression, "Do you really believe that?"

"I'm trying to." Moze admitted, "Sometimes I believe it more than others…but we can't change the past, Ned, what's done is done."

"I hate this."

Moze smirked, nudging his arm with her shoulder, "And you think it's a picnic for the rest of us? You may think you're the only one in the world who feels like you do, but let me tell you, Lisa and I had this exact conversation on Monday when we both were blaming _ourselves_ for this mess."

Ned shrugged softly, his expression still dark although it was visible that he had relaxed some, "And how do you start to move on?"

"Talking about it..remembering the good times. Ice cream." she gave Ned a sad smile, "It's hard. I know you know how hard it is…but like I said, Lisa and I talked Monday, and even then I felt better. And every day it gets a little better..at least, that's what I've been told."

They fell silent once more, only to jump as thunder boomed overhead. Looking up, Moze warned, "We should be heading back soon."

"In just a bit," Ned protested, "I want to enjoy this for just a few more minutes."

Almost instantly after the words left his mouth, rain began to fall from the sky in large, angry droplets, causing both teenagers to jump to their feet. They darted back into the woods, hoping to get some sort of protection under the trees. Shivering, Moze turned to Ned, a sly grin on her face, "Do me a favor."

"What?"

"Next time you decide to run away, check the forecast first."

Ned smiled, rolling his eyes, "Sure, I'll make it a priority."

As thunder roared once more, Ned began to lead Moze down another familiar path, "Look what I found last night."

Moze gasped as they came face to face with a tree-house they had haphazardly put together years before. On the outside, etched into wood, the initials of the three best friends stood out brightly. She looked around it, a smirk on her face, "It seemed so much more magical when we were in fifth grade."

"We've really come a long way since then." Ned whispered, his finger tracing Cookie's initials before looking up to meet Moze's saddened expression, "I think I'm ready to start to move on."

Moze nodded, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and placing a kiss on his cheek, "I think that's a great idea."

"At the risk of sounding totally girly, do you want to go back to my house and talk?" Ned asked, a sheepish grin on his face, "That is, assuming my mother isn't waiting at the door with a butcher knife." He grimaced, "I haven't been very nice to her lately."

Moze stopped him, staring intently into his deep blue eyes, "I think she'll understand…and I think that you need to talk to her about it, about everything. I'm glad you want to talk to me, and I'm definitely here for you, but so is she…and she's a lot smarter than I am about this stuff."

Ned nodded, his face flushing slightly with embarrassment, "I guess I've been a royal pain to be around…"

"Tell me about it...totally unbearable." Moze joked, ducking as a branch went flying in her direction, "Hey!"

"Take it back!" Ned shouted, a wide smile on his face as he chased after Moze, who had broken out into a run to get ahead of him. He finally caught up to her, his momentum knocking them both to the ground, the sounds of their laughter mixing with the echo of raindrops filling the air. He stared down at her, their eyes locking, mirroring each other's deep, intense passion. His lips crashed down against hers once more, rain sliding from his wet hair to her face as they once again melted into each other's arms.

Lightning lit up the sky, followed quickly by a crash of thunder. Pushing Ned up slightly, Moze panted, "We should get home before we get electrocuted."

"Yeah," Ned whispered, trying to fight the urge to grab her and resume their make out session. He had never felt such strong feelings before, about Moze or any other girl. As the rain began to pound harder upon them, he wondered if this was what true love felt like. Someone who he could talk to, who he couldn't resist touching and being near to, someone who had the power to brighten up his day with her mere presence. As they walked back towards their houses, hand in hand, he wondered if one day he and Moze would be sitting in their own house, waiting for their own kids to come home.

It wasn't until they walked into his kitchen that reality hit him once more, forcing himself out of the fairy tale he had been daydreaming of and sending him tumbling back into the nightmare that his life was currently resembling. He glanced up at the clock, shocked to see it was nearly noon…although the time did explain how Moze's parents had joined his own for what he was sure would be a tag-team lecture and rant.

As four angry pairs of eyes narrowed upon the two teenagers, Ned and Moze glanced at each other nervously, releasing each other's hands and bracing themselves for the fury that was sure to come.

_TBC_


End file.
